This part is way longer than the other but it's really good
http://smuttyaf.tumblr.com/post/122787665685/ill-be-good-part-2-pairing-reader-calum-hood
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Part 1
(Or the one were Calum hasn't moved on yet, but Y/N has, or maybe she hasn't?)
Blue. Blue eyes consume me once I wake up in the morning. I would have to say that I am getting use to looking into blue eyes in the morning. It was hard the first few times, waking up in bed and not seeing those brown eyes that use to be filled with hope and sadness, but now I wake up and see eyes that are filled with support and safety. It's different. I like different.
"You shouldn't stare at people you know?" Noah laughs lightly, before pressing a kiss to my forehead and, my stomach, it tingles, haven't had this feeling since I left him. "Sorry," I mumble before removing Noah's arms off of my hips and standing from the bed and making my way into the bathroom.
"Baby, I'm just joking," Noah chuckles, while running into the bathroom and dropping a peck onto my cheek. I shake my head before turning on the tap and running my toothbrush under the water and then gliding the minty paste onto the pistils of the brush before inserting into my mouth and brushing my teeth. "You know I was joking, right?" Noah states as he does what I did.
"Well since you don't want to talk to me I guess we can't go out for breakfast at that cafe that you like," Noah remarks, while rising his left eyebrow and staring at me. My mouth drops open before I begin nodding and repeatedly saying I was joking the whole time. Noah shakes his head before spitting out the toothpaste and telling me to hurry up and pressing another kiss to my cheek as he walks off and continues to brush his teeth.
I shake my head before I quickly hurry and continue to brush my teeth and then wash my face. I then throw on my light washed ripped Hollister jeans and my light pink sweater. I decided to just rake my fingers threw my hair and leave my hair in its natural waves before slipping on my newly bought white converses and heading my way downstairs with my phone in hand.
"What would you like?" Noah asks once we step into my favourite cafe. "I would like a French Vanilla and a cream cheese bagel." I state before looking up at Noah and seeing him nod his head. I smile as he rubs my shoulder which pushes me deeper into his chest, making me inhale apple and cinnamon. And that's not what I use to smell, I use to smell women's perfume and sweat, and I like this smell. Apple and cinnamon, it calms me down, sooths me into serenity and peace, something that I didn't have before.
"Babe, go find us a place to sit," Noah whispers into my hair and I nod my head before Noah is placing a kiss on my forehead. I smile at his affection; it's something that I rarely got when I was with him. I pull away from Noah's soft pink lips and begin to make my way over to a booth near the garden side of the cafe. It's now late spring and the flowers look absolutely beautiful. The colours are remarkably beautiful, varying from a beautiful bright red to a nearly black purple. And there just so beautiful and breath taking.
"Y/N," I hear him call my name. And it is him. It's the boy with those brown eyes and it's that boy that smelt like women's perfume and sweat, and it's that boy that broke my heart. "Calum," I breathe out, and I don't want to look at him. I don't want to look into those brown eyes that consumed me so many months ago, and I want to look into those blue eyes that show safety and support and happiness. But I can't control myself and I look up and I am consumed.
"How have you've been?" I ask, and it actually takes me by surprise because I shouldn't ask him how he is because it shows. He is wearing jogging pants, and whoa that's a first, and his t-shirt, wrinkled and its need to be iron are shown. And his hair is a mess and it's like a mixture of bed head and his hands raking threw his hair from stress, and his smell. It has changed since our last encounter, he doesn't smell like women perfume and sweat anymore, no, he smells like coffee and cigarettes and he never use to smoke.
"Oh, I've been good? How are you?" Calum asks, and it breaks my heart a little to hear his lie. And he tries to smile. He tries to make it seem like he has been good but I know that he hasn't from the way that his brown eyes fill with sadness. Right when I am about to answer Calum's question Noah appears with our orders.
"Hey babe, just letting you know that I made them put extra whip cream on your French vanilla because I know how you like your whip cream, oh and I also got you a chocolate chip cookie because they were just freshly baked and you know me, I just have to-"And Noah doesn't even finish his speech because he finally looks away from me and sees who I was talking to. "Calum," Noah remarks, and you can hear his voice lace with venom and I cringe at the way Noah nearly slams our food on the table.
Ever since I have told Noah about Calum and his cheating he has always despised Calum, I have always tried to tell Noah the good things about Calum but he knew it was all a lie, and I was telling him things that I wanted to hear. That day that I went to Noah's house with my suitcases and tear stained cheeks he knew that my strength was no longer with me and he knew that he had to build me up again. And he did that; he supported me when I had no were else to go, he made me feel loved in the middle of the night when I would cry all my sadness and sorrow and love into his chest, and he was just there for me when I needed him the most and I am glad to call him mine.
"What are you doing here?" Noah hisses at Calum and I quickly stand and make my way over to his side and grasp his hand in mine and rub slow circles onto the palm of his hand, and I watch, I watch as Calum eyes lead all the way down to my hand in Noah's and I see the way his eyebrows contorts into confusion.
"Are you two together?" Calum ask and his voice is soft but you can also hear the worry laced into his voice. "Were working on it, building ourselves up to it, since you know? you put Y/N threw some shitty stuff, she is going to need time to think." Noah says and I close my eyes and place my head on Noah's arm.
"You know," Calum starts but isn't able to finish because Noah's cutting him off already.
"You know you treated her like shit right? You know that she went through utter hell because of you, and it surprised me that she gave you so many chances and you just pissed on them. You just continued to break her heart, piece by piece, and the sad part about that was you said that you loved her; you said that loved her when what you did wasn't even love. You don't deserve her, you never did." Noah states to him. And I am surprised. Surprised that Noah had so much feelings built up inside of him because of what he did to me.
"Come on Noah, let's just go back to my place and eat there," I whisper to him as I begin to see people's eyes begin to wander to us. "Yeah we should go, I don't want to be around a cheating scumbag," Noah says before taking our food in his hands and walking out of the cafe, with me stumbling behind him.
~~~
"Baby," I whisper when I we finish eating and are now lying on my leather couch, cuddled together. "Yeah," Noah replies before looking at me. I smile as I look up at him and his curly hair almost covers his eyelids.
"Why were you so mean to Calum, you know, back there?" I say, my voice quiet, like maybe I shouldn't be asking this question. "Y/N, it was just that. He could still have you. He could still have you and make you his and I just want you. And I wanted you ever since you walked into Math class in year ten. But I know that I can never have you because the sad truth is your only his, nobody else can have you except for him." Noah breathes out, I shake my head before using my hands and pushing myself up on Noah's chest.
"Noah, you can't say that. If I was 'his' I would be with him right now and not you. I would still be getting hurt by him if I was still 'his', but guess what, I'm not 'his' anymore and I like you Noah, you make me feel safe and happy, and I have never felt that way with him before and if I did it was probably at the starting of the relationship, but Noah you make me feel this way every single day and I want you. I don't want him." I remark. Noah looks at me, his chocolate curls running along his forehead as his soft pink lips open up and his pearly white teeth begin to show and my heart aches because this beautiful boy in front of me is waiting, waiting for me to be ready and to commit to him, and that's what I like about him, he's patient.
"What are you doing tonight?" Noah asks and I place my head back onto his chest and listen to his heart thud against his ribcage.
"Sam invited me to go to this new club that opened up," I state before my eyes begin to drift asleep and apples, cinnamon, and blue eyes are what I dream about when I take my nap.
~~~
"You know, you're too pretty to be sitting by yourself," A man speaks to me. I cringe at the way his laugh sounds so dark and scary. I don't even want to look at the man that even called me pretty, so I don't. I stare down at the rum and coke that has got me drunk tonight.
"Pretty is an understatement for this girl," I hear him speak. And it's him again. I don't want to see him again, and I don't want to look up at him again and I just want to get away from him and I don't want to hear him, or smell him, or even hear his breath because sooner or later I will be consumed by him, and I don't want that to happen.
"Excuse me," I breathe out and I push myself off of the chair and grab my purse as I make my way into the crowd of people that are grinding aggressively on each other, and I breathe out shallow breaths trying to search for Sam but I can't find her. Before she left she said that she was going to be on the dance floor, but where is she now? I don't like being in cramped places and I hate it, I don't like it, and now my breaths are coming out faster and I'm scared and I just stop moving. I stand there and I need to catch my breath and I need to calm down.
"Alright ladies and gentlemen's, why don't we slow down our grinding just a tad!" I hear the DJ scream into the microphone and I let out a pleasing sigh, because at least I will stop bumping into other people rapidly.
His smell, I can smell him, and I don't want to smell him, and I turn around and he is behind me and before I can even close my eyes he is hugging me, engulfing me into his smell, the smell that I don't want to breathe in and sadly I do, and it calms me down, and it's making me feel like I'm at home. He wraps his arms around me and I snuggle into his chest and I shouldn't, I shouldn't be snuggling into his chest and smelling coffee and cigarettes, I should be smelling cinnamon and apples but I don't and, and maybe I don't want to smell cinnamon and apples, maybe I do want to smell coffee and cigarettes.
"I was a lair, I give into the fire I know I should've fought it, at least I'm being honest. Feel like a failure, 'cause I know that I failed you, I should've done you better cause you don't want a liar," Calum sings into my ear, and his voice, it's like an angel, and it only brings back memories, memories of him holding me and singing me to sleep because of an awful day at work or if I just wanted to hear his voice, his amazingly beautiful voice that could cure cancer.
"And I know, and I know, and I know he gives you everything but girl I couldn't give it you," And he changes the lyrics to redirect them towards me, and my heart, it breaks.
"And I know, and I know, and I know that you got everything but I got nothing here without you," And the beat, the beat is at a higher tempo but also at a slower paste.
"So one last time I need to be the one who takes you home, one more time, I promise after that I'll let you go. Love, I don't care if you got him in your heart, all I really care is you wake up in my arms. One last time, I need to be the one who takes you home." And at that moment he kisses me, and I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be kissing him back, but I do, and it feels like home, and I feel like I'm back home, with him and he is singing to me and he is repeatedly telling me that he loves me and I, I don't want to go back to that, but I find myself, surely drifting back into him.
"Let's go back to my place," Calum breathes against my lips, and I don't know. Maybe it is the rum and coke, or maybe it is the way that Calum's lips are consuming me, but it is making me nod my head. Calum grasps my hand in his and he is tugging us around the club and to the back door to get to his car. He unlocks the door for me and I slip inside, while I see Calum tug his way to the other side and climb in and start the car.
On the drive back to Calum's place, I find Calum's hand beginning to crawl its way up my thigh, and I leave it there, and I let his hand creep up my thigh and nearly crawl under my skin tight skirt. "You shouldn't have been out there alone," Calum speaks. I shiver, I don't know why, but I do. Maybe it is because I haven't heard Calum's voice so wrecked, so damaged, so raspy. No matter how many late nights that we had touching each other's body and reaching each other's high's using the both of us, his voice has never been this wrecked before.
"I was with Sam, she said that she would be on the dance floor," I breathe out and I don't know why, but I remove Calum's hand off of my thigh and I interlace our fingers together and I leave them on my thigh. And Calum turns, looks at me and smiles, and his smile, it makes my stomach all fuzzy, and that's not how I use to feel with him. But I'll push it aside; I don't want to know how I use to feel when I was with him. I want to live now, in the moment. How do I feel now with him?
Calum pulls into the driveway and I look and I see how different the house looks, and the grass, it's got longer and there are weeds everywhere, while the flowers that I planted months ago are growing wildly. "As you can see the yard looks like shit," Calum laughs out, and I shake my head before I open the car door and step out. I try to balance myself against the car but I fail once I step out with my other foot and I tremble to the ground.
"Y/N you got to be careful," Calum says as he hurries his way to my side, but I don't seem to mind that he is by my side and helping, well only because I am laughing at the way that I fell. I wrap my arms around Calum's neck and he helps me stand up. "You Cal, you are so handsome," I say, and press a kiss to Calum's cheek. Calum shakes his head before he then lifts me bridal style and carries me to the door and unlocks it. I let my heels drop to the ground as Calum begins to climb the stairs.
He carries me all the way to his bedroom and opens the door and surprisingly the room is clean. Living with him use to be hell since he would always leave clothes stern across the floor or on the computer chair, I remember the first few weeks of dating Calum I would always go to his apartment to surprise him with my favourite cafe food, and when I walked in his apartment would always be filled with clothes and empty pizza boxes everywhere. But now it is different now, there are neither pizza boxers nor are there clothes lying around the room.
Calum lays me on the bed before pressing his lips against mine; I close my eyes and wrap my arms tighter around Calum's neck. Our tongues clash together, and the taste of him is welcoming and warm, and it reminds me back to the first time Calum and I have ever made love, and his lips tasted so sweet like candy, but his tongue tasted like alcohol and I would always find myself getting drunk by it. And his fingers, they glide their way down my chest and rises my tight black crop top and throws it over my head. Calum moans, he moans at the site of me before leaving wet kisses down my cheeks, and then they lead all the way down to my collarbones. Along the line of Calum sucking hickeys and love bites down my stomach, he managed to slip off my skirt and begin to rub me threw my lace black panties. I breathe in a shaky breath before I pull Calum's head all the way back up to me and press his lips against mine.
Calum pulls away from my lips but not before pecking my lips multiple times and then descending south. Calum takes his time, kissing down my stomach and sucking hickeys into my thighs before he's finally exactly where I want him. Calum still manages to tease, pressing a light kiss to my clit before spending more time with my thighs. Finally when I let out a sigh of frustration Calum smirks before pressing a kiss to my clit, and my back arches, head falling back as pleasure floods my whole entire body.
Calum doesn't waste time once he presses a kiss to my clit, and he dives right in, lapping at my juices and I can hear him, slurping and sucking at my juices and my body is on a high and it feels amazing. I remove my hands from my hair and run them down my body before they end up in Calum's hair. High pitched, my moan comes out high pitched when I feel Calum insert one of his fingers, and it's been so long, been so long since he has ever touched me and it feels so good. His long slender fingers stretch me and they feel so good, and I moan at the feeling.
Before I know it Calum is inserting a second finger, stretching me out more and there is a little pain but it is soon replaced with pleasure and I am just in a place filled with lust and it feels amazing, it feels like I am floating on cloud nine and I wouldn't have had it any other way on a Friday night.
The pleasure is soon gone and my lustful state is just a haze for me now, before I feel Calum press his lips against mine and he is rushing the kiss, like his time is almost up, when in reality he has all the time in the world. The kiss is filled with rushed breaths, clashing of teeth, moans, and lips biting onto each other. Calum soon rises up and peels off his shirt and then he rushes and tugs off his pants.
"Slow down, you have all the time in the world," I breathe out as I examine Calum's body, and it is so perfect, so beautiful and well put together, and I don't even have enough time to keep on admiring Calum's body because his voice is responding to my remark.
"I should take my time with you, but I can't. I need you now," Calum states before he leans down and begins to suck at my neck. "Are you still taking the pill?" Calum breathes against my neck and I nod my head before raising my hands and peeling Calum's head away from my neck and then pressing my lips to his neck. As I begin to suck a love bite onto Calum's neck the moan that slips threw his mouth is a heavenly sound.
"Calum," I breathe out against Calum's neck and Calum moans in response, "Let me ride you," I breathe out and Calum nods his head, he then grips my hips and switches positions with me. I shuffle up before easing down onto Calum's member that was leaking pre-come. Calum gasped before moaning and placing his hands on my thighs.
"Fuck," Calum moans, before he drags his feet up the bed a little, putting them flat to the mattress. He pushes his hips up, just slightly and I felt Calum sink deeper inside me, moaning at the new sensation. I begin to swivel my hips against Calum's and moans slips from both of our mouths. And from the swivel and grinding from my hips Calum begins to thrust into me with such strength that I am almost falling off of his body.
I brace myself against Calum's chest as he begins to thrust up into me. I moan at the feeling before leaning up and raking my hands up my body and begin playing with my nipples.
"Fuck Calum, I'm so close," I moan out and I feel Calum's hands curve around my waist before they slip down my body and begin to rub against my clit at a fast pace. And I groan, spreading my knees further apart even though they are beginning to burn my inner thighs but I don't care, because this sensation, pleasure, it is turning me inside out and it's making my mind go blank and my muscles feel like jello.
"Love, holy shit," Calum moans out before I feel his hot come squirting inside me in long strings. I moan at the feeling before rolling off of Calum and shutting my eyes.
It's gone the rum and coke, the sensation, and the consuming feeling. It's gone, and I find myself feeling guilty. Guilty? Why would I feel guilty, and that smell, and that's the smell that I want to stay away from, looks like I didn't tonight, and I don't want to look over at him, I don't want to look at him, and I pray, I pray that he isn't naked, and that this, this is just some sick and twisted dream that I had and I don't want to hurt Noah, I don't want to hurt the boy that gives me everything, I don't want to hurt him.
And I turn over, and I see him. The boy with the sad brown eyes, and I see the boy, and he is nude, and I look at myself and I am nude and I shake my head quickly and it shouldn't have been this way and I shouldn't have been so drunk off pleasure and I should've done better.
And I hurry. I scramble off of the bed and begin to look around the room, searching for my clothes. Once I find them I quickly put them on and then look around for my purse. "It's in the car. And if you would like, I could drop you home." I hear Calum's voice speak and I look at Calum and his face looks sad and down, and I nod my head gently and before I see him sigh and begin to tug on his clothes. I quickly rush out of the room and slip on the heels that I found by the front door. Just when I was about to look in the mirror I see Calum make his way down the stairs and he looks at me with sad eyes and I turn around, not wanting to look into them.
The drive is quiet except for when I give him instructions on how to get to my flat. "It's really nice to see you again. Love, I was hoping that maybe we could-"
"No, I'm sorry Calum. Tonight was a mistake, and I wasn't paying attention and I needed to and now I've made a mistake. I'm sorry but I can't," I state and I hurry and grab my purse open the car door before slamming it and making my way into the apartment building.
Once I am inside my flat, I slam the door shut and brace myself against it.
"Don't cry Y/N, don't cry,"
"And why would you cry?"
