Lilac Petals (Classroom of the Elite)

Chapter 9

Sakayanagi Arisu

It takes time to figure out what you're feeling. I'd imagine that would especially be the case for someone like my "boyfriend," Ayanokouji Kiyotaka of Class D.

In the span of just over ten days, we had spent quite a lot of time together. And believe it or not, he had gradually started to open up to me—just like a book beginning to finally open after being closed for so long, allowing its contents to be read.

I was confident in my ability to read people. Yet, Kiyotaka was an exception. No matter what approach I'd use, he was a complete enigma to me—I wasn't able to tell what he was planning or thinking. And that was because of his detachment from his emotions. He had specifically posed himself not to show any vulnerability in order to survive in the White Room.

The more time I had spent with him, the more I had been able to unravel about him. I had seen the subtle signs he was giving off—the glances that lingered a second too long, the way his eyes gained a bit of color when we engaged in conversation, the intensity of his grip on my hand, as if he never wanted to let go.

It felt like watching a flower bud, waiting for it to bloom. You can see the potential—the promise of something beautiful, but it hasn't happened yet. It may still be dawning on him, akin to a sun rising on a new day.

"Hmm." I lightly gripped my cane, while gazing at the ceiling of my dorm room.

Of course, there was the possibility that the flower may never bloom. Due to his inexperience with emotions, he may never realize his feelings. The cold, harsh environment he was raised in had imposed only a logical understanding of human emotions.

And as for my feelings... the truth is that I...

"...am a maiden in love." I muttered.

It was a rather pleasant surprise. At first, I had thought it was merely infatuation. And if it was, then these feelings would have faded away a long time ago.

That conviction quickly changed as time passed. The moments we shared together were like fragments of a beautiful painting, each one adding more vibrance to our portrait. Our mock relationship had allowed my feelings to blossom, leaving me less room to deny my deep attraction toward him.

How should I approach these feelings, I wonder? Do I confess to him outright?

And more importantly—will he realize his own feelings?

Fufufu, only time will tell.

===

Ayanokouji Kiyotaka

Tonight was the 31st of March. It was the last night of spring break, where students had enjoyed their final moments of rest before the battles to come. It was just about to hit 11 pm, so I supposed that mostly everyone was asleep by now, considering that they needed to wake up early tomorrow.

Before the holiday had started, I had seen Arisu as a regular person—nothing more, nothing less. However, I had found myself drawn toward her, and had started to see her as a genuine acquaintance.

No, actually, I had started to see her as someone... more than that.

In a span of just a few days after my date with Arisu, my mind had turned into a mess. I couldn't quite put my finger on what had changed.

"What is happening to me?"

My reflection didn't answer. I met my own dead-fish gaze in the mirror's polished surface, silently questioning my own existence. I knew that deep down I was undergoing a change... that my body was trying to bring something to my attention.

Splash!

With a deliberate motion, I splashed my face with water, letting each droplet trickle down my features.

These thoughts... no, feelings had been bothering me for a while now. However, they were only in sudden bursts as a result of interacting with Arisu. Now, they had started to intensify, inconveniently occurring at completely random intervals.

I struggled to get some sleep. Whenever I closed my eyes, I would find myself replaying every moment I had spent with her. Each memory was vivid and sharp, like scenes from a movie. As a result, I had been staying up for about 3 hours later than the time I usually slept.

Eating ice cream, staring at the ceiling, watching TV—no matter what I was doing, I had always found myself captivated by her features. It was as though my body longed for her presence for some odd reason.

It was troublesome.

It was getting in the way of my ability to think logically and concisely. Even in everyday tasks like cooking and shopping, I would always finish a little later than usual because of these thoughts.

I'll admit that I shared a close relationship with Arisu to some degree. However, she was intelligent and cunning. One misstep, and I may find out that I'm getting kicked out of school the very next day. I had seen betrayal happen before my eyes. And to avoid that from happening, I never trusted her.

Yes, relationship and trust—similar concepts, but fundamentally different.

In an intimate relationship, like family or close friends, trust is the very core of these bonds. It may be developed over time through shared experiences, consistent behavior, or demonstrated reliability. Without trust, the foundation can easily weaken, and the relationship will ultimately falter.

On the other hand, business partners can form a relationship that only aims for a shared objective, like a common goal that can bring mutual gain. The relationship exists, but both parties engage without a common trust in each other, ready to cut ties if necessary.

Trust can grow or wither. Strangers assigned together for a group project may not trust each other at the beginning. They don't have personal history, but because the task requires cooperation, a relationship forms anyway. And as time passes, trust among the group may cultivate itself.

However, if you consider it in reverse, trust without a relationship is an anomaly. The concept itself needs familiarity—a prior relationship. And without it, trust wouldn't have a platform to grow on.

I...

I wanted a relationship where I could place my complete trust in the other person, and show vulnerability. However, a part of me knew that was impossible.

But, these feelings...

Was it really impossible?

I wasn't sure anymore.

===

Author's Note

im cooked bro