Our Deadly Sins

Father why?

My life wasn't exactly a life you would wanna live in basically, yes I was filthy rich but not as rich as the New York Billionaire Dante Russo, but I was rich. I was popular but I was also limited to the world, My parents weren't perfect infact they were toxic for each other, my dad was an asshole as well as my little brother who behaved older than he actually was, Diego was just nonchalant and didn't care about anything but himself.

My parents always paid attention to him and not me, I was used to it, but on the outside of these huge walls was a picture perfect family, 'picture perfect my ass' I grew up being abused by my dad who I was certain would rape me one day because of how much he hated me. If I had an option to trade lives with someone I wouldn't trade lives with them because I wouldn't want them to go through what I go through.

I laid in my bed my eyes open looking up at the ceiling, I had thousands differently directed thoughts and lots of question, I looked to my right and quickly got up to shower, Holy  crap I woke up late and father is going to kill me if I come to the dinner table late.

I came out the shower 10 minutes later and hurried up to change, I threw on a simple outfit with white sneaker and simply did my hair.

I heard my mom calls us down for breakfast although I wasn't really hungry I didn't want to face Fathers anger early in the morning, The man was short tempered and that was one of his worst traits and for some damn reason I'm like the only person in the entire table that he targets.

"Don't let him provoke you"

"Don't let him provoke you"

"you know what that leads to" I recited as I made my way downstairs.

Mom was setting up the table and Father was at the Head of the table I sat down next to my younger brother Diego "Good morning father" I simply greeted "Good morning Carmen last to the table I see, Come to my office after dinner".

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I simply nodded "Yes Father" at this point I lost my appetite I couldn't eat anymore, I felt like throwing up but I knew I wasn't going to get up because father would get angry he always had this rule that we only get up once he finished eating his meal which was ridiculous so I held myself together until he finished his meal, After 10 minutes he had finished meal and was heading upstairs i helped my mom with the plates and headed to fathers office. Mom and I weren't close I always felt like she hated me for some reason because we never spoke at all.

I stood outside father's office and I just knew I wasn't making it out alive, I softly knocked on the door and waited for him to let me in "Come in" I heard him say on the other side of the door, I slowly walked in and saw him setting behind his desk and Diego was sitting across the room on the couch I closed the door and walked towards Father, he pointed to the chair and I reached for the char and sat down "you needed to talk to me father" I said softly not daring to look him the eyes. "You are my only daughter" He declared yet in a demanding Tone. (As if that wasn't obvious, yet you still hate me and with the next words that are gonna come out your mouth I just hope they're good) "you are getting married to one of my business partners son you are going to sign a contract and meet him in a week" I looked at him in horror "What!! but father I'm only 17 I'm not even done with school yet" I said softly not daring to raise my voice " Look here I don't give a shit about school and how old you are you are going to sign that damn contract, marry him and get the fuck out of my house understand, you are supposed to marry him when you turn 18 but the bastard wants you married to him ASAP"

"But father I don't even know him I can't just marry a person who I don't know and thing about"

"Carmen I will not tolerate this disrespect I told you, you are going to sign the contract whether YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!. be more like your brother you little shit he is younger but more mature than you" I was supposed to bite my tongue after that retort but lord how dumb could I be usually I don't talk back to my father but this was unacceptable, My father is basically selling me away and I wasn't born yesterday I know he's benefitting something from this.

Suddenly I just lost it and I didn't care if he did anything to me at this point "Father you also have to consider the fact that I also have a life I have dreams too you can't just wake up one morning and just decide to get me married to a man I know shit about I don't want to marry someone because of their power or whatever the fuck they are, I spent my whole life living under Diego's shadow you and mom only care about Diego everything was about Diego I just had to be that one child who is hated by her parents and I am not approving this nonsense I will not sign that contract!!" I wont. let him win

"THATS IT!"

My father yelled standing up. Knocking over his wine on the floor. I swear I saw amusement in his storm filled eyes. I gave him exactly what he wanted.

"You just don't learn do you. GET UP NOW!" I just had to open my fat mouth.

I stood slowly my legs wobbling as if forcing me to sit down. My body draining itself because it knows what's coming. His hand grips my wrist and he squeezes hard. His fingers surly leaving bruises when he lets go.

"Your pathetic. Your weak. And I'm ashamed to have you as my daughter." He spoke each word taking a mental punch hurting as much as the physical ones. I stand up. Not letting him win. I can't let him win.

The day I do I think I will die might just be today. He punches me right in the face. My lip immediately wounded because I can taste the blood in my mouth. Even some on my nose. But I can't tell if it's coming out of my nose or it's just from my mouth. I just know that I taste and smell blood and the right side of my face is pounding in pain. Tears welling in my eyes. "You will never learn will you. If your innocence wasn't so prized, I would have had you raped and beaten by my men. Maybe that would teach you a lesson." I just bowed my head. Pleading to be let go. Pleading to not receive what he just described. I felt dead. Wholly and utterly dead. I want to die. I want to be dead. "Now get out of my office, AND YOU WILL SIGN THAT CONTRACT"

I got up to my room and closed my door. Jumping into bed and letting everything out that I had to hold in. The tears rushing out as I let down my final barrier.

 
I cry until I've run out of tears Until It's impossible to cry anymore. But the feeling still remains. Eventually I tire myself out and end up falling asleep, my face stained with tears and dried blood but I couldn't be bothered as the darkness took over lulling me into the only peace I get all day. That's why sleeping is one of my favourite things to do. It's the one time when I don't feel. When I can't feel. I wish I could sleep all the time. Or maybe I just wish to be dead.

I woke up drenched in sweat. I must have had a nightmare or something. Or maybe I just slept with too many covers on. Whatever the reason I feel gross. Absolutely disgusting. The sweat coating my back making my shirt stick to me. And the blood that's still on my face makes it so much worse. I turn the shower on and strip from my clothes. Throwing them to the side as I hop in the shower. Letting the hot water wash everything away. I scrub carefully around my face making sure to get all the blood off. And then soap my whole body up until I feel clean again. The steam has covered the mirrors when i step out and wrapping my towel around me I wipe part of the mirror clean so I can take in the full effect of what happened. Sure enough a small bruise lay on my face near my lip that has a huge cut in it. I quickly think of a excuse in case anyone asks. I got into a fight with a girl this weekend she was being such a bitch and i punched her, turns out she punches back. And then I look down to my arms 5 small bruises were visible but i didn't give a shit I was used to it. I threw on Long sleeved PJ and went back to sleep

Authors Note:

For the first chapter I just wanted to jump a bit into Carmen's life a bit to show you what she goes through, Guys please keep in mind that this is my first novel and I will get used to structuring my story properly. Don't forget to vote and comment what you thought about this chapter.