Shifting Gears || cl16/ln4

Gear Forty-Six

A/N:
Heyyy! Sorry for not being able to upload for some time. I had my second surgery and I'm now recovering from that BUT I have written a long ass chapter from Charles' POV. You may have read some moments from previous chapters but I just wanted to write Charles' perspective as well. I hope you don't get bored...
Enjoy! <3

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Charles' POV

As I trudged back to my hotel room, each step felt like a heavy burden weighing me down. My thoughts swirled chaotically in my mind, consuming me with a sense of numbness that threatened to engulf me entirely.

It was as if I were teetering on the edge of a cliff, desperately clinging to the edge to prevent myself from falling into the abyss below. For so long, I had fought to maintain my grip, refusing to succumb to the overwhelming despair that threatened to drag me down. But now, as I walked in a daze, the sensation of falling was all too real. It was as if I had finally lost my footing, my fingers slipping from the edge just as I thought I had found the strength to pull myself back up.

Disoriented and lost in my own thoughts, I moved mechanically, my surroundings blurring into a haze of indistinct shapes and colors. The butterfly necklace felt heavy in my hand, a tangible reminder of the hopes and dreams that now lay shattered at my feet.

With each step, I drew closer to my hotel room, the weight of defeat bearing down on me with relentless force. And as I finally reached the door, I entered the room, closing it behind me with a heavy sigh. Alone in the silence of my room, I sank onto the bed, the butterfly necklace still clutched tightly in my hand. Tears welled in my eyes as I allowed myself to finally acknowledge the full extent of my pain and disappointment. The cliff had crumbled beneath me, and I had no choice but to surrender to the darkness that awaited below.

As I stared at the butterfly necklace resting in the palm of my hand, the tears continued welling up in my eyes, cascading down my cheeks and landing on the delicate metal surface. Each drop felt like a release, a cathartic unraveling of the emotions I had bottled up for far too long.

Rarely did I allow myself the luxury of tears. For me, crying was a sign of weakness, an admission of vulnerability that I couldn't afford in my world of ruthless competition. But in that moment, as I gazed at the necklace that had once held so much meaning, I let go of my pride and allowed myself to feel.

Every ounce of pain, frustration, and heartache that I had suppressed over the past few months came pouring out, carried on the tide of my tears. It was a cleansing, purging torrent, washing away the walls I had built around my emotions, leaving me raw and exposed but strangely liberated.

In that moment of vulnerability, I realized that crying wasn't a sign of weakness at all — it was an act of courage, a willingness to confront the pain and sorrow that lay buried deep within me. And as I let go of everything I had been holding inside, I felt a sense of relief wash over me, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to surrender to the release, embracing the tears as they flowed freely down my cheeks. It was a moment of profound vulnerability, but also of profound healing, as I finally allowed myself to acknowledge the depth of my emotions and the pain that had been silently eating away at me for so long.

The image of Willow and Lando kissing each other passionately, burned itself into my mind, haunting me with its painful clarity. For so long, I had sensed that there was something more between them than just friendship and the connection as teammates. But now, seeing it unfold before my eyes, it was like a dagger to the heart.

I couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal that gnawed at me, knowing that just as I was finally going to tell Willow the truth, she was sharing an intimate moment with someone else. It felt like a cruel twist of fate, mocking my attempts to open up and lay bare my feelings.