I have no motivation. I feel like I have chains wrapped around my body with an anchor on the end dragging me down and down. I try to swim to the surface but all my efforts seem to turn to dust and drift mindlessly to the ocean floor. I debate whether to follow. To just let go, sink to the sand and wait till my lungs give up. I would too if it wasn't for them. The ones who 'love' me. Because of their feelings I am not free to die. All I want is to drift into nonexistence. Why can't you just STOP. Stop so I can die in peace without worrying about the people I will leave and the tears that will roll down their cheeks as they stand in black around the coffin decorated with my name.
