Rules and Roses

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 1 - 𝖣𝖾𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾

''Ma, where are my headphones?'' I yelled to my mother across the house as I searched the boxes inside my room frantically. I silently groan to myself at hearing her slow footsteps coming up the stairs. My door opened, and my mother froze in place. I turned to her, sitting on the ground in defeat.''What's all this mess, Dishu?'' She asked, placing her hands on her hips as she glared at me.


This week has been entirely exhausting. I spent my days preparing to set off to Jaipur for college, which was nine hours away from home. I've felt a roller coaster of emotions within one week―excited, upset, and nervous. I did want to go, I've worked hard, but it was never going to be easy leaving the place I spent my whole life in.

''Mom, please just help me find it.'' I raised my hands in defeat with a groan, followed by a chuckle not too late. She sighs, walking up to my bedside drawer, and pulling it out with an are you serious? expression. I laughed nervously, ''I completely forgot I used that last night.'' I took the headphones from her hand, placing it inside my backpack quickly. I can practically feel her concerned expression as I avoid her gaze.

''How will you live without me, Dishu?'' Her voice was dripping with worry, but her expression denied it. I looked up at her for a moment before looking back down towards the backpack on my lap. ''I dont want to go, Ma.'' I mumbled quietly, a pang of sadness hitting my chest. I traced the cold tiles with my index finger, feeling it for the last time.

I watched her as she sat down beside me, caressing my head. ''Dishu, listen to me,'' she gently speaks, her hand lowering to rub my back. ''Youre going there to follow your dreams, and help people.'' She smiled heartily at me, making me somehow feel worse for having to go. ''Youre going to be just fine.'' She hugged me. I sat in place momentarily, trying to decide what to do. I took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around her neck, ''You're right.'' My voice quivered as I hugged her tightly. ''I'll be fine.'' I whispered, more to myself than to my mother to myself

It felt somewhat heavy on my chest as she hugged me. I never wanted to pull away. My mother was always good to me, she was the best I could ask for. Weve never been emotionally close regardless of our stable relationship, and that meant I had to leave this place with that regret. My mind fogged up with all the things I couldve done differently, but it was quite useless.

Come on, lets have dinner, and get to bed early. Your flight is at five in the morning. My mother smiled, kissing my forehead after what felt like a lifetime. I sat there, trying to process everything as she quietly left the room. I look around my room, taking in every detail in hopes I never forget it. I could always come visit, right? I stood up slowly, pushing the boxes to the side as I left my room, closing the door to the sound of my mother calling me. Come down quickly, Dishu. Dont be late to eat!

I head downstairs, sitting by the dinner table. Facing my parents in front of me and my brother, Jason beside me, I can feel the sad atmosphere, it made me choke on my own saliva. I wanted to cry but i controlled myself, i wouldn't possibly want to be crying in front of my family, it would only break them even more.

After we had our dinner, I went over to the living room. Soon after my family went to their respective rooms, I looked at them, as they left to their rooms wishing me a good night. I will miss that.. I thought to myself, I walked all over my house, recollecting the memories i had with them, with my friends, my family..

I recollected the time when my bestfriend Sarv, she used to love cooking for me, and she used to help my mom with the cooking. They would come up with the weirdest recipes but they taste better than expected. The time she used to spend in my dads office helping him with work, was still embedded in me. Oh god.. And the time she ate an oreo filled with toothpaste assuming it was a mint flavored oreo it was hilarious.. The fact that she still continued to munch on it, until my brother told her that she was eating an oreo filled with toothpaste. I still wonder how she was still munching on that.

Recollecting those memories made me feel a rollercoaster of emotions. I looked back at the time on the wall clock, it was indicating 10:30 PM. I decided I should go back to my room and sleep for the flight in the morning at 5AM. I walked over to the staircase which led to the first floor. I looked back for a moment, before I went back to my room and headed to bed.

Tossing and turning, I got up as I sat on the bed, facing the wall in front of my bed with a portrait of me and Sarv, I leaned over to my night stand and turned the nightlamp on, collecting my phone on the nightstand. It was 3:09AM. I rubbed my eyes out, as I was twisting and turning tirelessly , ''God, couldn't I have booked a flight which was at 9?!'' I blamed myself, but it is what it is. I got off the bed and headed to the bathroom which was located to the left of my bed. I opened the bathroom door, I walked over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror, with my bed head, I just freshened up and hopped into the shower to get ready for my flight, it was in 2 hours

I hopped out of the shower and put my hair back using a headband and I did my skin care before I went over to my closet to pick out my clothes for the flight, i chose to wear a pair of gray baggy jeans and an oversized white hoodie with an angel on it, i got out a pearly bracelet and slipped it on my right hand before i took out my luggage and my shoulder bag and headed downstairs slowly, carrying my suitcase.

''Maa im–'' Before I was able to finish my sentence my eyes met over my family, and my best friend, sarv and 2 of my close friends were waiting for me in the living room. I felt a tear threatening to fall, but I controlled it. I noticed my bestfriend sarv, running over to me before she embraced me in a tight hug. ''God!!! Dishu! I'll miss you, what will I do without you? Come home once in a while, okay? Dont forget us'' she requested,

My heart ached, but I had to let this feeling sink, ''I will visit you, sarv. I won't forget to call you everyday and tell you every bit of information'' I remarked.

She let go of me, so my family and my friends can embrace me as well. ''Can we take one last picture before you leave?'' sarv asked, ''yeah, i would like that.'' I responded back to her. We took a selfie one last time before I left for college in another state.

I got my luggage from the stairs and walked to the door as my Uber arrived. I turned back to them before I bid farewell, ''I will miss you and I love you guys'' I muttered, before I left out the door and got into my cab, placing the luggage in the trunk.

I reached the airport, it was 4AM, so there weren't many people around the airport. I took my luggage out of the trunk, before I paid the uber driver. I put my bag over my shoulder before rolling my suitcase into the airport for check in, I was on time for my flight. I soon boarded the plane. I found my seat near the window, luckily no one sat beside me, I took out my headphones and put it on, and turned music on, soon the plane started. I sighed, A new beginning.