Love lessons from the one I hate

Monday 1 April

Brace yourself for the most outrageous school tortures you've ever heard of!

Picture this: the school is gearing up for an epic showdown with other schools, but not in sports or talent shows. Oh no, they're going head-to-head academically. Sounds innocent, right? Well, hold on to your textbooks because things are about to get wild! They're not just competing; they're out for blood, aiming to prove once and for all who the true big cheese, the ultimate alpha school, really is.

Once every 5 months, it's like the academic Olympics as all the schools in the district battle it out in these crazy educational duels. It's all about proving which school is the big cheese. The winning school gets to gloat for the next FIVE YEARS, boasting to all the kids and parents like, "We're the brainiest of them all!"

Let me tell you, when I was just a tot, this Academy sweet-talked my mom into enrolling me by promising I'd become a Spanish whiz. Spoiler alert: it was all a big fat lie! I know zilch, nada, nothing. And guess what they blame my bad grades for ? Making origami chickens instead of paying attention. Seriously, ever heard of multytasking?

The school claims these competitions are to inspire students to study, but let's call a spade a spade. It's all about trampling the competition and showing off who's boss. 

While some kids were all in, gunning for victory, I was just there for the laughs. When it was my turn to shine, I'd probably mix up 2+2 or something. No biggie, right? Wrong! Suddenly, the school started bombarding us with homework like it was going out of style. Three months of cram sessions, endless quizzes, and a whole lot of stress. And guess who became their new favorite target? Yep, you guessed it – yours truly. Ever since a boy from one of the rival schools convinced me that Hawaii was a state in Africa, the entire school board decided to harass me even more than the average student.

"tAnd you can't imagine the Chinese tortures they inflict on their average student. If only you knew the way they strap us down to our chairs and tape our eyes open so we can't even blink while they force us to watch hour-long historical documentaries. The way they make us review the entire year's worth of work and write 100 SOCIOMETRY EQUATIONS ON THE BOARD."

¨AND the worst part of it all is that  THEY TAKE OUR SKIDELS,¨   

"AhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" The entire classroom went wild, their screams of terror echoing through the entire school.

¨AND THEY BRAKE OUR CREYONS,¨ I shout knowing this commen would turly affect shock opon everyone. 

AND THIS WILL ALL HAPPEN TO YOU IN A FEW YEARS

¨NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not my cryons¨ Timmy shoutes this while running to his desk shilding his 100 pack creyons.

¨YES, we must put a stop to these horrors for the generations to come. We must break free from the Illuminati's grasp—¨ I was interrupted.

"What are you going—" A stern, angry male voice broke through the chaos.  The vice of a tall young man, uniform unspecable.

"I'm starting a revolt!" I shouted back, dismissing him from the room, as his presence was only an impediment to the historical movement that was occurring.

"Christeena, stop harassing the kindergarteners, or I will have you removed from the student desk," he demanded, his tone filled with anger, his eyes piersing into me, forcing me to get off the desk. He managed to quiet down the class of twenty-four five-year-olds and pulled me into the hallway.