jealousy, jealousy | Jenlisa

9

Lisa should be used to it by now, really. But the sight still bugs her, now more than ever, as she's waiting for Jennie's shift to end so she can drive her to her apartment, since it's getting dark outside.

Taeh leans in and whispers something in Jennie's ear, and Lisa looks away, suppressing another scowl.

Things have been tense for the last two days.

It's petty, but she hasn't felt quite right since that day Jennie took that emergency shift at the cafe.

She knows she should probably talk to Jennie about this—they've fought plenty of times before, but in all those instances, she thought she was in the right. This, she's sure she's being unreasonable. But she can't fucking help it.

Jennie looks at her a little warily, uncharacteristically quiet on the way home. When she walks Jennie to the door, she doesn't say much, only pecking Jennie on the lips and telling her goodnight before returning to her car.

She regrets it afterward, as she's driving home, seeing how hurt Jennie looked.

Lisa knows she doesn't own Jennie and she doesn't want to.

But she wants to be the one Jennie smiles at, she wants her jokes to be the one that elicits that kind of laugh. She wants to be the one Jennie tells everything to, who she trusts and lets her walls down. She wants some of Jennie's parts to be all for herself, and Gods, she knows that's selfish and wrong, but she can't help it.

Lisa knows they mean nothing, the shared exasperated looks whenever a customer is acting like an ass, the little quips they throw at each other during rush hour, the covering for each other whenever they're needed, it's workplace etiquette and friendship.

(Should she apply—no, her father would never allow it.)

Gods, what is wrong with her?

Jennie said yes to her. Not Taeh, but her.

At least, for now.

But it's not Taeh that's the issue, is it? Not really. It could have been any other person, not even Taeh—he's just a nice guy who managed to somehow get in Jennie's good graces, who she bonded with at a crappy part-time job.

What happens if Jennie decides she's tired of her? If Jennie wants someone nicer to date? One who Jennie didn't hate from the get-go because she was being a prick? One whose family she doesn't hate because they don't sneer and condescend to her every chance they get? One who doesn't bicker and frustrate her to her temper's limit for the fun of it? One who won't get jealous over stupid, petty shit and takes it out on her like her?

What if one day she's not enough?

What if one day she loses her?