We As Human

Chapter 2

"I'm so afraid, cause this addiction won't break.
It takes and takes. And leaves me nothing, with nothing.
I feel alone. I feel there's nobody out there. I'm all alone.
I could just end this right here.

Cause I, hate myself, for who I am, for what I've done.
I just need some deliverance.
Cause I, hate myself, for who I am, for what I've done.
I just need some deliverance."

- Deliverance, We As Human

"Sam? Sam, wake up. Sammy, come on."

"This is my fault. I knew he wasn't doing well. He told me he wasn't, and when I asked if I could do anything, he said no, but I could tell he was lying. I should have done something. I should have at least told you. Or Bobby. I should have—"

"Cas, stop. Stop, okay? We can sort out who's to blame later. Right now, let's just take care of him." Pause. "Pull the blankets back. I'm gonna get him off the floor."

Someone grabbed Sam and lifted him up. Someone put him on the bed. Someone touched his shoe, lifting his leg and wrestling with the leather boot until it was off. Someone did the same thing to his other shoe. Someone kept talking to someone overhead.

"What do we do, Dean?"

Sam didn't open his eyes or speak. He didn't know if he could.

"I don't know, Cas."

Sam fell back asleep.

***

"Sammy, we gotta leave for a bit. It's, uh, it's a bit of a long story... but I guess the angels resurrected Adam, and they're trying to use him as Michael's vessel instead of me, and... well, basically, Cas and I gotta go stop it. We'll be back, okay? I won't say yes to Michael. I promise. I'll be back, just... just hang in there." Pause. "I love you."

He felt Dean kiss him on the forehead.

I love you, too.

***

Sam woke up in the dark. He had to pee, but not badly enough that he was actually going to get up. He rolled over and stared at the wall until he drifted off again.

He woke up in the dark again, and his bladder wasn't going to be ignored that time around. He rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, gripping the counter for support while he relieved himself. He flushed and started back toward his room. Just gotta make it to the bed. He somehow managed to get there before his shaking legs dropped him like a ragdoll, and with a heavy sigh, he was unconscious again.

"Adam's gone. I tried to get him out, but..." Pause. "I don't know where Cas is. He zapped himself away getting rid of some angels, and he's not answering his phone..."

Sam felt himself move his arm, sliding it closer to Dean. He felt it dangle over the edge, palm up, fingers twitching to indicate the desire for Dean's hand to be in his. He felt Dean comply.

Laughter. "You're holding my hand?" Soft. "Typical." Scared. "What do I do, Sam?"

Sam felt his head jerk in a slight shake. He didn't know what to do any more than Dean did.

He passed out again.

***

"Come on, Sammy, you gotta take your meds. It'll take, like, thirty seconds."

Sam felt his eyes blink sluggishly, his gaze drifting over to Dean. He felt numb. No embarrassment. No confusion. No fear. Nothing. Just an overwhelming need to sleep.