Pritchett household
(Jay is eating a doughnut but when he hears Gloria walk in he grabs an apple from the fruit bowl)
Gloria: Jay, I'm home. Did Manny call?
Jay: No, because they're fine. They're at a slumber party, not a gang fight.
Gloria: I just want Manny to fit in. I'm gonna take a shower. Do you care to join me?
Jay: You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say "no" to that question, I want you to use it on me.
Dunphy household
(Claire is watching Haley and Luke play together when Phil walks in)
Claire: Shh, shh, shh!
Phil: What's wrong? Why aren't they trying to hurt each other?
Claire: I don't know, but I'm afraid to move.
Haley: You're really good at this.
Luke: Thanks.
Phil: What is happening, Claire?
Pritchett-Tucker household
Cameron: Mmm.
Mitchell: What do you think?
(Cameron is eating a scone that Mitchell made)
Cameron: Now, that is a scone.
Mitchell: No butter, nonfat.
Cameron: Shut up. (The doorbell rings and Mitchell goes to it) I'm gonna go check on Lily. (Cameron leaves)
(Mitchell opens the door to find his mother with her suitcase)
Dede: Surprise!
Mitchell: Mom!
Pritchett household
(As Jay and Gloria walk upstairs, a bird hits and cracks the window)
Gloria: What's that?
Jay: Sounds like a bird hit the window.
Gloria: Oh, God, that's a bad sign. (Gloria crosses her fingers and prays)
Dunphy household
(Luke slaps Haley's hand)
Haley: Ow! That hurt, jerk! (Haley pushes Luke)
Luke: Ow! I'm gonna kill you, stupid! (Luke pushes back and the fight goes on)
Haley: Ow!
(Claire and Phil have no idea what just happened)
Claire: What happened?
Phil: Now I'm sad.
Pritchett-Trucker household
Dede: Hi, honey.
Mitchell: Hi. I-I didn't know you were in town. You didn't call. (Dede walks in)
Dede: Well, I couldn't wait to see your new baby. Where is she?
Cameron: Mitchell, who was that?
Mitchell: Uh, it's my mom.
Cameron: Oh, yeah, right. 'cause the last time she was here, the refrigerator magnets rearranged themselves into a penta... Grandma! (Dede smiles as Mitchell grins awkwardly)
YOU ARE READING
Modern Family (Charlie Dunphy)
FanfictionAuthor's note: The only character I own is Charlie, the rest is the Modern Family cast/universe, which I don't own. I will be doing this book as a script, then rewriting it as a typical story after the script chapters.
