Dunphy household
Claire: (plating breakfast) Kids, breakfast! Kids! (after a moment groans) Phil, would you get them?
Phil: (on his phone) Yeah. Just a sec.
Claire: (now annoyed) Kids! (drops container) Okay.
Phil: (sees Claire's anger) That is so... Kids! Get down here!
Hayley: (enters in wearing a flower shirt and a short black skirt) Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? Just text me.
Claire: All right, that's not gonna happen and wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Hayley: What's wrong with it?
Claire: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: (looks up from his cellphone) Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute, sweetheart.
Haley: Thanks,
Claire: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them.
Alex and Charlie: (enters) Luke got his head is stuck in the banister again.
Phil: I got it. Where's the baby oil?
Claire: It's on our bedside tab- (mutters) I dunno. Find it. (walks into cupboard door) Come on!
COMMENTARY
Claire: I was... out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I... I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes that I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida half-naked, I've done my job.
Phil: ...Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.
Pritchetts at a soccer match
Gloria: Bravo, Manny! Kick it, kick it! Don't let him- kick it! Manito! (says something in Spanish) No! No, no! He tripped him, Jay. Where is the penalty?
Jay: Gloria, they're 0-6. Let's take it down a notch.
COMMENTARY
Gloria: We're very different. Jay's from the city, he has big business. I come from a small village – very poor, but very, very beautiful. It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the... what's the word?
Jay: Murders.
Gloria: Yes, the murders.
Pritchetts at a soccer match
Gloria: Manny, stop him! (says something in Spanish)
(Manny waves at a girl on a bicycle; the other team scores.)
Teammate: Dammit, Manny.
Mother: Come on, coach. You've gotta take that kid out!
Gloria: You wanna take him out? How about I take you out?
Jay: Honey, honey...
Gloria: Why don't you worry about your son? He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!
Mother: (mouths) Wow... (walks off)
Guy: I've wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks. I'm Josh, Ryan's dad.
YOU ARE READING
Modern Family (Charlie Dunphy)
FanficAuthor's note: The only character I own is Charlie, the rest is the Modern Family cast/universe, which I don't own. I will be doing this book as a script, then rewriting it as a typical story after the script chapters.
