11- Carl Grimes

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My fingers thread through my hair, pulling at it. Taking out All of my pent up emotions and anger on myself. In that moment I couldn't react any better. I couldn't hit him, that was for sure, all It would do was start an all out war in an already battle filled household.

My nails digging into my arms and hands, all to feel anything else other than the complete and utter disappointment which filled my heart at this time. I had never thought a person could be so selfish as to cause his daughters and wife such pain.

It was quite simple, anything was possible if you really wanted to. The problem was that he didn't want to. He simply couldn't put his ego and pride aside for the people which he claims he loves.

I will never forget that night, as we stood in the living room of our house in Alexandria, threats and insults flying about. And yet it was all for nothing. Nothing changed except for the fact that our already complicated and broken relationship became shattered, unfixable.

In that moment, I felt like I had no one to go to. I definitely didn't want to stay in that house a second longer than I needed to.

So I left.

Out the front door.

The cold night was like a warm kiss on my tear stained face. I wore a small tank top and joggers. My skin was raw from where my nails had digged and scratched. I couldn't bear it anymore. This fucked up life. I wondered what I had done to deserve this, but that answer was quite simple. Nothing.

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. And yet, I couldn't make out what this reason was. I cried harder than I ever had before, causing it to slightly restrict my airway. I couldn't breath properly, but I couldn't stop crying.

I felt like I had no one to go, I sat down by the lake, as a small dose of rain started to pour. Each droplet calming my flaming skin.

I felt someone approaching, but only when I turned to look at him, did I see Carl. I quickly turn my head away from him, not wanting to see my reddened face. I feel him kneel behind me , placing my arms around me, embracing me in a soft hug from behind. This only caused more tears to flow down my face, as I was now in his comfort. Every time something happens he is there for me, no questions asked. I wont even try to wander how he knew to come out and after me tonight , if anything it was probably my mother's doing.

"What's wrong baby" he asks me so softly. " Nothing" I say trying to hide my arms, as I knew that if he saw what I had done he wouldn't be so happy. "clearly something is wrong my love, you don't have to tell me right now , but just know I'm here for you." he says.

I turn sideways , my head now resting on his chest as he places a kiss on top of my head, holding me tightly. "You're so cold Y/n" he says as he goes to place one of his flannels on me. Freezing in his tracks as he sees my red arms. "What have you done Y/n" he asks, worry evident in his voice. "It's fine Carl" I say trying to avoid the subject.

"It's certainly not fine Y/n , you're hurting yourself." he says now making me look him straight in his eyes. As if on queue , rain pours harder around us, completely soaking our clothes. "It's nothing babe don't worry" I say trying to give him a small smile. "No, Y/n , don't babe me, why did you hurt yourself." he asks me.

"I just wanted to feel something other than disappointment and anger, I needed to take it out on something or someone" I said. "so you chose yourself?!"

"Yes, I chose myself" I said, looking into his eyes, I could see the worry evident in his gorgeously blue eyes. He holds me tightly before saying "please promise me you won't hurt yourself again"

"You know I can't do that Carl," I say quietly. "Yes you can Y/n, next time you feel that way , just come to me please" he says, almost pleading me in a way. I could see the care and love that he holds for me pooling in his eye, causing a tear to escape his eyes. "please don't cry for me my love" I say caressing his cheek. "I love you Y/n , don't ever hurt yourself again" he says , " i'll try not to" I say as soft sigh escapes my lips. "let's get back inside before you catch a cold" He says lifting me of the ground as we make our way towards his house. I couldn't help but wander what I did to get so lucky in finding someone like Carl.

Our hands entwined with one another's on our way. We stop on his porch , as he turns to me, without a word he kisses me. Transmitting our love for one another through a kiss, it was then that I realised, I wasn't actually alone.

A/n: It's kinda short and kinda shitty but oh well.

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