Every Boy's Nightmare - PART ONE of Guns & Roses

Koi Pond Fantasy

They all finished eating, and Drew excused himself to go take a long nap, his words directly, and he and Caleb ended up walking in the back gardens, hand in hand, in the cool Winter air.

The Koi were still active, and the whole section here was dedicated to the Japanese theme, from bridge to greenery to concept, and Christian visibly got off on it.

“Baby, this is really beautiful. I can’t believe I didn’t come back here before.” He was leaning over a bridge railing, watching the fish swim in lazy loops around the clear water, and back here, it was very quiet, very serene and he wasn’t sure, but he was thinking it soothed a lot of his anxieties.

Just the space, the layout…it was, he supposed, very zen or something.

Caleb just smiled at his back, posted up across from him, enjoying his moment of quiet as well, and more just time spent. “You happy, babe?”

Chris looked back and looked happy. His eyes were easy, and bruising aside, he smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Honestly, I’m really, really…relieved I guess.” He looked back at the water and thought it over before saying, “I think I was just freaking out before now. I mean, I’ve never lived with anyone, Caleb. I’ve always been alone, and I think I wanted it so bad, it was scaring me. Like I’d jinx the whole thing or something.” He sighed and turned back and smiled at that very, very appealing figure and looked him over. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me.” He held up a restraining hand when that mouth opened, and Caleb shut it with a small smile when he forged on, “But…” He exhaled and straightened and idled forward, spread hands down Caleb's sides, and shrugged. “I think I’m realizing that you’re just that kind of person, and you take care of everything all the time.”

Caleb was about this close from shutting that mouth and taking him to bed if he kept talking like that at him, and put his hands in his pockets to restrain himself.

“I think I’m trying to ask you to not be you, while simultaneously hating my situation and all this crazy bullshit, and not liking myself, and…” He shook his head and finally just smiled. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Caleb thought it over, and offered, “That I’m a domineering control freak and you don’t really want to control a damn thing?”

Chris laughed and patted his chest, loving that bright smile beaming at him. “Yeah, something like that.” He shrugged, but his eyes were easy and beautiful right then, and it was very distracting under the dappled lighting of the maples overhead. Just spectacular. “I’m really tired of making myself so tired, you know?”

It was a split in that barricade that Caleb had been praying for, and more was hoping since this morning he hadn’t been rethinking the move here. He pulled his hands up to run down those lovely arms. “Sweetheart, I just want you to be happy, with me. I’m not trying to control your whole life, but I can’t help but want to.” That made Chris laugh and he grinned and caught his hands against his chest. “I want it to be easy for you is all. There's nothing wrong with this dynamic, Chris, if we both want it. I’m not going anywhere, and I feel a hell of a lot better knowing that you are squarely under my thumb.”

“You’re really a fucking pyscho you know that?” He said it, but it was also bizarrely the most romantic and purely honest thing someone had ever said to him, and Chris felt it.

Caleb just shrugged easily, unfazed by it, lips curved.

“I guess, I’m not really fooling you though when I scream about hating it?” He made it a question, and Caleb grinned at that and looked up as if checking the weather patterns.

“No, I feel like if you did, you would have bailed by now.” He looked back down at that soft expression of very real warmth and affection now and felt his heart clench a bit. “I really do love you, Christian.”