You're beautiful

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You should know you're
Beautiful just the way you are

And you don't have to change a thing,
The world could change it's heart

No scars to your beautiful,
We're stars and we're beautiful

(Alessia Cara, Scars to your beautiful)

TW: selfharm

——————————————————-

It had happened before Y/N had come up in the box. Before the Glade. Before her memory had been wiped away.
And she couldn't remember how she got them. No- how she had gotten those scars was easy to guess, but WHY had she done it?- that was the question that made her suffer. The question that caused her to be restless, the question that kept her up at night. She tried to dig for clues in her memory, but was left clueless.
And again and again, she wondered what had happened in her life before the Glade, why she had done this to herself. How much did she suffer to cover the soft skin of her forearms over and over with dozens of cuts?
It made Y/N sad- maybe being in the Glade, locked up in the maze with the grievers was better than getting out.
The best solution was simply not to think about it. Thankfully, the work in the glade kept her busy. Another solution was that Y/N always wore the f/c (favourite colour) long sleeve, and never rolled her sleeves up. She coudn't let anyone see her scars- that would cause unnecessary trouble and too many questions.

She currently was in the kitchen, putting the still warm dishes, freshly out of the dishwasher, away into the cabinet. She quietly hummed a peaceful, quiet melody, that came up in her mind. She had put the last dish away, as a deep, orotund voice spoke up behind her
„Your shift's done for today. Thank you for helping me cleaning up the kitchen, Y/N." Frypan said with a smile.
Y/N yawned and rubbed her nose.
„You're welcome, Fry. Good night." she thanked the keeper of the cooks with a nod as she walked past him and took off her apron and hanged it on one off the crooks, next to the other cooks aprons.

Y/N quickly left the kitchen and went straight to the homestead. It was late evening, and the sun had set. Soon the stars would appear on the sky. The doors of the maze were closed, and everyone was slowly going to bed, the sounds from the animals also had died down. The glade was peaceful and calm after another long day of hard work. Y/N quickly went to her room, which was located on the second floor of the homestead. She entered her room, and closed the door as she stepped in, as she took her time to extensively stretch her back. As she stretched her back, her sleeves slid up to her elbows. Suddenly, the door bursted open, and someone stepped in.
„Y/N I wanted to-„ Newt interrupted himself in the mid of his sentence.
Y/N quickly put her her hands back down and turned around on her heels. She quickly tried to pull the sleeves of her f/c long sleeve back down to cover the scars, but Newt was faster.
A confused „Hm?!" escaped her troath.
Newt quickly stepped up to her and gripped her wrists firmly. Before the girl could intervene or say anything, Newt had already pushed her sleeves up. His expression was a mix of grim disbelieve and sadness as he stared at the scars which covered her forearms over and over again. Those cuts obviously weren't fresh, but judging from the severity, it was clear that those scars would never completely dissapear.
Y/N started to panic as Newt stared at her scarred forearms. She tried to get her hands out of his grip, but his hold on her was too strong.
„Newt I-„
„Shhhhh....." The blonde hushed, and raised his other hand to Y/N's face to cup her cheek and rub it comfortingly with his thumb.
He finally looked up at her. His eyes were pained, but they looked at Y/N in the most sympathetic and genuine way possible.
„Love, did you do this here? In the Glade?" Newt asked. His voice low, almost a whisper, filled with the uttermost care.
Y/N shook her head- the lump in her throat left her unable to speak. But she was still afraid. Afraid of being judged by the person that was the dearest to her.
Unwillingly, tears welled up in her beautiful e/c (eye colour) eyes. She swallowed down the painful lump in her throat.
„I- I already had them when... when I c- came up in the b- box.... I- I'm sorry Newt- I don't remember why... why..."
„Shhh.... it's okay, love... it's okay.... I won't judge you." Newt gives her a weak, but reassuring and comforting smile.
„You... you promise?..." Y/N asked with a brittled voice.
Newt nods. „Promise. I could never think bad of you, love. But... Y/N... you don't remember how you got those scars? You don't remember why you did it?"
His voice was gentle as he sat Sophia down on her cot, and kneeled down in front of her, so they almost were on one eye level.
Y/N just nods silently. She was afraid that if she'd started to talk, the tears she was holding back would start to fall.
„Y/N, love... but... you didn't continue to do it here, did you?" Newt asks carefully.
„N-no I didn't.... I really didn't I-I promise..."
„Hey, hey, it's alright... I believe you...." Newt reassured her.
He slightly loosened his grip on Y/N's wrists, but still held them. He carefully stroked her scarred forearms. His touch was light as a feather. Newts caring touch send a shiver down Y/N's spine. She had a crush on Newt since a long time now, and the way he now cared about her, made the butterflies in her stomach flutter.
„I... I don't know what has made you suffer like this, that made you do this to yourself, but I promise that I will protect you. That nothing in the world will urge you to do this to yourself ever again." Newt spoke, his deep british accent calming to her ears.
„D-don't say that... I... those scars make me weak and ugly... whatever happened to me, I probably deserved it- it is always my fault and-"Y/N whispered.
„Don't say that. Don'r ever say that! You are beautiful and amazing, shining bright as a star in this jacked up world. DON'T EVER. Speak so bad of you. Okay?" Newt squeezed her hands tightly to comfort her.
Newt could see the disbelieve in Y/N's eyes. He sighs.
„I have liked you a lot Y/N. Since the very day you came up int the box. And the second I saw you, how irritated you sat there, crouched down in the corner of the box, and watched us with distrust, since that day I knew I would always protect you. And I am so sorry I couldn't save you from this happening to you, but I promise, it will never happen again." As he spoke, his chocolate brown eyes were shining with pure love.
Y/N tilted her head, and shook it softly. „Newt..."
Newt quickly intervened. „God I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I-„
„Newt." Y/N whispered.
The brit imidiately stoped talking, and looked at her attentively. He got up slightly, so that they now were at the same eye level. Y/N brought her face close to Newts, so that their noses were almost touching.
„Thank you." she whispered with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
Newt smiled back at her. The knot of anticipation in Y/N's stomach became tight. Newt glanced at her lips and then back into her eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered. They were so close now as their breaths mingled with each other. And finally, their lips met in a desperate, soft kiss. A firework exploded in her stomach. She felt like the happiest person alive. Their lips danced with each other in a light dance. After a few long moments, they broke the kiss and gasped for air.
Newts eyes glistened with pure love and joy as he watched Y/N smile.
„That- that was absolutely..."
„Perfect? Orphic?" Y/N giggled breathlessly.
Newt chuckled. „Yeah."
He finally let Y/N's wrists go, and patted her knees as he went for another kiss.
Y/N chuckled content as they kissed again.
„I love you, Newt."
„Love you too, love."

Word count: 1445 words

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 09 ⏰

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