ＳＡＴＵＲＮ, 𝙟𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙡 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙖

1

ANIA MAIER - (play the song saturn)

i am currently in the town where i live chicago, illinois. i'm at home on facetime with ria since my ex-boyfriend cheated on me a week ago and he was in a relationship with another girl. how could he move on so quickly? anyways, his name was joey and he was a whole red flag. i felt foolish about falling in love with him but, i just couldn't help it. i was crying to ria about how much i missed him. i was angry and sad. i didn't know how to explain it.

"i hate him and i wish i never was with him but, i feel sad because he cheated. i feel dumb." i said while crying.

"don't feel like that, ani. he was a red flag and a jerk. also you weren't dumb he just got in your head and controlled you. you couldn't break up with him because you knew it would be too hard to with his whole family liking you and everyone saying you guys were an amazing couple." ria said, trying to comfort me, which was honestly terrible.

"if you want we can get the whole breakup off of your mind with a girls trip to germany. you've always wanted to go back there ever since you had to leave for your career. your parents live in munich too so, we can see them and go to allianz arena to see your favorite soccer team, bayern munich." ria said and i honestly liked the idea.... maybe i could meet the soccer player i had a crush on.

"it's football get it right. also, i like that idea a lot!" i said while calming down and wiping my tears away.

"should i make an album on how much i hate joey?" i questioned.

"definitely!" ria said and laughed a little, "he deserves a whole album about how he's trash."

i laughed as she said that. she helps me a lot when i feel sad and she's an amazing friend to have.

(time skip - 1 AM)

it was 1 AM in chicago and i couldn't sleep. i was in my bed crying while trying to fall asleep. i just couldn't stop thinking about joey, it was like he was in my head 24/7. it just feels like i'm a fool. i hate the world. i hate myself. i hate everything.
at this point i feel like i'm just too clingy. i feel like no one wants me.

i was a crying mess. joey really got in my head and i was always going back to him. i feel like i could never be loved. my thoughts make me feel like i'm ranting to myself. i mean, who would want me?

i got up from my bed and went to my balcony to look at the sky, the moon looked gorgeous.

i sighed to myself and walked back to my bed to sleep. more like try to sleep.

i'm going to be up all night from this mess.

💫 more chapters to come! this one will be short for right now since, i'm busy.

love you all <3