Warm Blooded

01

"Run!"

I am far from her but the loudness of her reminder still lingers in my ears. The house that we manage to build is slowly drifting away from me. I wanted to cry and ran back to her but she doesn't want me to because she wants me to live. She wants me to go on with my life and build a new one that will be full of happiness. 

"Ma..." I whispered as if she can hear my call. I was so scared. I am just 13. I am still a kid who needs her. I am still a kid who needs a mother by my side, to guide me, and to hush me whenever I cry.

"Who are they Ma? Bad people?"

Mama just smiled at me as she put a necklace around my neck. They are still knocking loudly at our door. It was a slow kind of knock. Like the sound of the tick of the timer of a bomb - a countdown and we are slowly getting to the end of it. Anytime now, it will explode and kills us.

"Ma?" I called her, slowly understanding that she wants me to run away... to escape... to leave...

"No matter what happens, don't look back Maureen. I'll just stop them for the mean time and I'll follow you after."

Lies. I could see through her. With her trembling hands and panicking eyes. I know she's lying to me. 

"Find Aunt Isabella in the South Florence. She'll help you. Live, Maureen. Live for me."

She is acting tough, yet her voice is low and almost as if a whisper. She is acting as if I can live without her.

"I'm sorry if I brought you into this mess. I'm sorry..." her voice, getting smaller and for the first time, I saw her in a vulnerable state. My mother, she never showed weakness. She would always exude confidence and strength. Despite the only one doing everything for us to live, she never gives up. 

"I'm so sorry, but please don't forget that I love you so much, Maureen."

My tears started to pour, but I never made a sound. I held her hand tightly and said, "What about you Ma? What about-". I couldn't finish my word. She hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead, "Eros lo major que me ha pasado". 

I couldn't understand her, but I couldn't ask her anymore. She pushed me away. I saw how her eyes turned to blue and it's bright. Was it because of the light? But her eyes were always brown. The sight of it made me trembled and despite its fierceness, I know what she is trying to tell me. Her eyes were telling me to go and run now.

"Run!" she hissed.

Those were the last words that I heard from her before I ran towards the backdoor - to the woods. Our main door opened when the strangers harshly pushed it. I saw how it flew open and I saw how my mother tried to stop them. I wipe away my tears as I ran as fast as I could. I know, mother will follow, she just buy time for me to escape. She will follow. She will. 

South Florence is far from here. It will took me two days to walk before I can reach there. It will take us two days to walk before mother and I can reach there. In my pocket, I only had enough coins which is enough for me to buy two breads, but maybe I can use this for the bus fare, I hope the driver will let us even if it is not enough so that we can reach there tomorrow night.

I don't know what to do anymore. I ran and I kept on thinking that my mother wants me to go far away and that she will just follow. I was running when I heard a wolf howling. It was my first time hearing it, and my mother always say that there are wolves in this woods. Some are white and some are black.

I didn't mind the first howl, but when there is another, I immediately stop. It is not just a simple howl, it sounds more like a cry and a goodbye.

"I love you"

"I'm sorry"

I tried to wipe it off my mind and continue to run. As I get far from the place, the howling of the wolves stopped. I don't know but when it stopped, my heart suddenly hurts. "No, I shouldn't be thinking about bad things. Trust mother. She'll be here with me later." I took out the necklace inside my shirt and held it tight. It has a picture of my mother and me when I was just a baby. 

I slowed down from running because I realized that I am now far from home. When I saw a big tree, I decided to sit there for a while because my legs and feet are starting to hurt.

"Should I spend my night here and wait for mother?" I ask myself.

It was as if an answer to my question. I heard voices coming to me. I looked up to the tree and I realized that it was reliable. I climbed and waited for the owners of the voices to go near where I am but they didn't come.

I looked up to the sky and there was no moon. The only light was given by the stars. I put my head in between my legs and tried to think.

"I'll go back when the sun rise", I spoke to myself.

When the sun started to show up, I slowly go down from the trunk of the tree to the ground. The air was so cold yet it didn't stop me from running back to where our house is. I know I should be going to South Florence now but I couldn't help my self. I need to see mother now. 

"Ma!" I shouted as I ran back, calling her that I, Maureen, her daughter is back.

But what I saw sank my heart and the tears that I tried to stop since last night are starting to come out. The strength from my knee worn out and I immediately kneeled on the ground, scraping it because of the sudden action.

I put my hand in my mouth to stop me from whining, but it didn't help. The house- Our home was gone - burned. I don't know if I should be glad that the fire didn't reach me or be sad that I was not burned together with it.

With my trembling knees, I stood up and ran to where our house is, but I couldn't find my mother. I keep on looking for but I couldn't see her. It was all black because of the ashes and the only thing standing here was the burned cemented wall.

Everything was burnt. I shouldn't have left her. I should have stayed with her. I should have. Many thoughts are running in my mind. The regrets, the pain, and the sadness.

"Ma! Where are you, Ma? What am I going to do?" I shouted.

The life that I thought would last forever, in one blink of an eye is suddenly gone. When death knocked at our door, I shouldn't have ran away, I should have stayed and waited for it, because right now, I regretted everything. I regretted leaving her.

"Ma..." I cried calling her again.

Now, my mother is gone and nowhere to be found.