Bucket List

Prologue

(A/N: I made Belly to have just finished freshmen year/9th grade for the age gaps to make sense)

I have always been second. 

From the moment I was born then I became third when Belly was born.

Hell, even my name comes in third. Helena Conklin is my name. My brother is Steven and my sister is Isabella and my name is Helena. Out of all the names in the world, my mother had to choose Helena. I got tired of people saying it so my dad came up with the nickname Leni.

I don't hate the fact I share a name with Helena Bonham Carter, but it's because Helena Bonham Carter is Helena Bonham Carter. 

Steven was the oldest and the smartest. Belly was the baby and the sweetest. And I was the calm and non-troubling one. 

If I were to play Never Have I Ever, I would have won. I would have been the last woman standing. 

I have always been the "maturest" of my siblings, making sure they don't die, taking care of them when mom couldn't, and comforting them when needed.

When mom forgot, I did it. I never got to do some things Steven did by 7th grade.

I've already finished my sophomore year of high school and soon I'll be a junior.

Ever since mom announced getting divorced, mom and dad were busy moving, talking with lawyers, and dividing property. Mom was also working on her book, making it a habit to forget about house chores.

I was the one who helped with the groceries, cooking, cleaning, and a bunch more.

I always made sure Steven got home safe and definitely NOT drunk after parties. I was the one who comforted Belly when Mochi died. 

Everyone who I've been close with is slowly drifting away.

I barely see dad anymore after the divorce. Steven will go to college soon, and I'm pretty sure Susannah and the boys will be all over Belly this summer.

Belly has gotten a major glowup since last summer. She had her braces taken out, gotten contact lenses instead, she learned a bunch of tips from Taylor, both makeup and social, and she's finally upgraded her closet (thanks to Taylor of course). 

She's always been pretty though. Even if no one else thought she was. 

My best friend, Dia, is my favorite person at school. She's the one who knows my every secret. She makes me feel better all the time. Then, I barely get to see her during the summer.

The drive to Cousins always feels the same. That point when you're between our house and Cousins feels so relaxing. 

Ever since I got my drivers license, I've been excited to take dad's car and drive all by myself to Cousins.

Since I was in 8th grade, I arrived at Cousins before anyone else. I would get up early in the morning and take a bus. I would watch the sun rise as I sat in the bus. But this summer, I would get to drive.

Mom, Steven, and Belly would usually leave around late mornings to noon, so I was saving myself a whole morning of them asking mom and me what they might have forgotten. 

I loaded my stuff into the car, got my basket of snacks and drinks for the road, and kissed mom on her forehead goodbye. It was around 5 am and the weather report said the sunrise would be in an hour, so I had plenty of time to get there with the sunrise. 

Susannah used to get there before us all to set it up and make it looked like it how we left it the summer before, but since 8th grade, I would get there first and decorate Susannah's room for her.

She does so much for us all the time, I wanted to treat her with the love she gave to me. 

Speaking of love, Belly has always had this crush on Conrad. I've always known, even before she told me about it. The way she looks at him just says it all. 

I turned the engine on and started driving, I had made sure to fill up the gas tank the day before so I wouldn't be deserted in the middle of nowhere. 

The sun had barely risen. I turned on a playlist which made me feel like I was in a movie. 

I had a perfectly designed playlist that would move up from 1 to 10 of intensity just for moments like these. Right now it was a 2.5/10. Kind of calm but upbeat enough to get me awake for the day. 

By the time 7 am rolled in, my playlist was upbeat. A 5/10. The sun was fully risen and I was enjoying my time alone. I was singing along to Melanie Martinez and Selena Gomez. There were still 4 hours to go. 

I was at the edge of New York and... then in Connecticut. 

3 hours passed by and I was just an hour away. At this point I was listening to True Crime from Rotten Mango. 

"This is ridiculous," I tell myself as I listen to the podcast, "He was right there and the police still didn't catch him."

I pulled over to a gas station to make sure I had a little over enough for the last hour. Then I saw a car that looked like Jeremiah's. I parked my car before going into the convenience store attached to the gas station.

Inside, the cashier sat idle, playing games on his phone. I walked around a bit, grabbing a bottle of water and some chips, until I hit someone.

I had been walking backwards and I felt someone's arm hit my back. 

"Oh, sorry," I apologized.

"My bad," they said. I recognized his voice. I turned around to see Jeremiah. "Oh, it's you," I said disappointed.  

"Exsqueeze me?" he scoffed, "What do you mean, 'oh it's you'? After nine long months of not seeing my pretty face, this is what you say to me?" He said it in a mocking tone which made me roll my eyes.

"Nothing, just that I hoped it would be a cute guy. And this could've been a meet-cute," I answered in monotone, "And the fact you call yourself pretty is not cool in anyway"

"You said you hoped you would meet a cute guy?" Jeremiah added, "Here I am." I just scoffed at the way this boy was so set on his looks.

"I didn't call myself pretty," Jeremiah grinned. I started to get my wallet out as I walked to the cashier. 

"Why are you here though?" I asked. The cashier started scanning myself as I got my money out.

"What? I can't drive to the beach house by myself?" Jeremiah said, pretending to be offended

"No, I mean why aren't you at the beach house already?" I reworded my sentence, "If you're here, that means you willingly drove an hour towards the beach house, then went an hour past it to here"

Jeremiah leaned on his car as he smirked, "Whoa, you know how far away my house is from the beach house? Is it cause you wanna know how long it's gonna take to see me?" I rolled my eyes as I threw my stuff into my car.

"No because I wanted to get there before Susannah does," I scoffed, "Get over yourself" Jeremiah gripped onto his chest and put his hand to his head with a pained expression.

"Ouch," he cried. I pulled my phone out to check the time and also to ignore Jeremiah's weird ass behavior.

"Hey, how has Susannah been doing anyway?" I asked nonchalantly. Jeremiah pretended to faint upon hearing my words.

"Do you really care that little of me?" Jeremiah whined. 

"Jere," I said firmly. Immediately, Jeremiah stood up straight and stated, "Good, great, excited for this summer."

"You're so weird," I chuckled as I got into my car, "See you at the house."

"Byeeeeeeeee," Jeremiah sang as I drove away.