The Devils Bargain | stuilly | billyxstu | stuxbilly

Chapter 12

Billy came upon the building that had the control room inside, not bothering to go in, knowing well enough that his mom would come out in her own time. The sky was still pitch black, but specks of light filled the sky.

Billy waited, letting the high emotions slowly dwindle into a constant ache of self-satisfaction, and yet he couldn't help but relive the fear, uncertainty, and safety that he had created and destroyed in Sid's night. It was almost dirty to feel how much it was fueling him. It was like nothing else, knowing that Sidney probably wouldn't sleep tonight or tomorrow night. Completely overtaken by the fear that she's being stalked again.

His mom came out not long after he arrived, looking pleased with herself. Billy didn't know what his mom got out of this. She talks about just wanting to help him, but it was still a big ask to kill someone and help hide a murder. She didn't have that crazy look that Stu had, and she didn't have the self-satisfaction he knew he had. She looked happy but indifferent.

I guess the enjoyment of murder wasn't shared. That was fine. It's not like Billy plans to make murder a lifetime hobby anyway. He believed he could probably live the rest of his life without killing again. Sure, he'd miss the high, and most of all, he'd miss the power and control he feels when everything works just right, and he definitely just loves watching the life drain out of someone else, but he wasn't addicted to it.

"You did so well, Billy." his mom praised, her hand messing up his hair and causing tuffs to fall over his face. An involuntary huff escaped him as he brushed the strands aside, a smile lingering on his lips. The love and attention he hadn't realized he craved resurfaced when his mother returned, stringing him along.

He reminded himself to tread cautiously, wary of becoming overly dependent on her love and approval. Despite his affection for his mother, he refused to become clingy; after all, he was a man. Men, in his understanding, didn't require validation or commendation. His father's constant refusal to offer such sentiments had been a deliberate effort to toughen him and shield him from perceived weakness.

He didn't understand why, as a kid, other kids got that love and attention, but now he thought he was better for it.

"Yeah, well, we better get back to the car before the police arrive." he remarked, a pragmatic undertone veiling his words as he steered the conversation toward practicality.

His mom nodded as she began walking in the direction of the car. Billy followed next to her, not expecting his mom to try and speak again. But her touch on his shoulder interrupted the quiet, drawing his attention sharply.

"Darling, there's something I want to talk to you about." Her words hung heavy in the air, laden with an unexpected weight.

A knot formed in Billy's throat, anxiety prickling at his skin as he tried to decipher the uncertainty etched across his mother's face. Her expression underwent a subtle transformation that left him perplexed and apprehensive.

Their footsteps halted, and Billy nodded in acknowledgement. "After we've done it, what you need to do to move on from all this-"

"I would like to try again—being your mother."

His gaze was averted, and a sudden ache clutched at his heart. Fists clenched tightly at his sides, hidden from his mother's sight, battling the onslaught of emotions, resenting the raw vulnerability that leaked into his being, weakening his resolve. It was baffling how a simple statement could unravel him, urging tears to press against the edges of his composure.

Like those simple words, they were enough to heal a childlike part of himself. The part of himself that screamed to his dad that he wished his mom was here instead of him—the kid who would sit by the phone, waiting for the call from his mom—only got that call.

Stu was the reason he was ever able to move on. He was the boy who came around every day; his front tooth was knocked out, and a goofy gleam in his eye made Billy's problems disappear.