I'm tired of these lonely nights. Not having anyone by my side to complete the warmth that I so desperately needed. I use to have all that when I first started dating Niall. He was there whenever I needed him which was most of the time. He was my cuddle buddy, my warmth and my lover all at the same time.
Niall is really so sweet, the best any girl would want. He was the perfect dream guy even with his flaws. I loved him.
Lately Niall has changed though. I don't know why. His eyes are a little more dull than usual. He never bothers to try to hold a conversation anymore. It's like he's distant. He gets drunk more than he use to. Yeah I know he's Irish but that doesn't leave a valid reason for his sudden actions. I would try to ask how his day was when he got home from the studio but he would just reply with a languid answer and wondering off to the kitchen for a beer. I wouldn't try to pry i'm not like that but I was worried. He wasn't my Niall anymore.
Last week at 4:30am on Saturday he stumbles in drunk. I guess he was so drunk he couldn't even walk in a straight line and ran into the hallway table, breaking a vase. I peeled myself from the bed getting up to go help him. I find him in the kitchen reaching for another beer. Was he seriously trying to get drunk than he already was?
"Ni, come to bed will you?" I whisper hoping he would hear. He turned around his eyes brighter than usual from the alcohol. Once he finally processed what I said he scoffed.
"I'm not fuckin tired yet so leave me will ya" he slurred. Fuck, he couldn't even think straight. We both know he should go to bed but the beer was making him a whole lot more stubborn than he would normally be.
"Niall you need to sleep this alcohol off. Come on babe" I gently grab his arm to try to guide him from the fridge so he wouldn't get another beer.
"Get the fuck off of me," he pulled he arm away harshly,"you're not my fucking mother (Y/N)" he stumbles off into the living room with the beer in hand. I let him go not even, going to attempt for the third time to get him to bed. I was hurt that he would even shove me off like that. Not even letting me take care of him like I use to. I was sick of him pushing me away and destroying stuff all around the house in his drunken state.
The same routine continued for 2 weeks after that incident one night. Niall went out to work in the morning, go to the pub right after, gets completely wasted to the point where he can't even remember the previous night. Then it starts all over again. I tried to help him but all he would do was shove me off like I was nothing. We haven't had sex or kissed in months. He wouldn't even take a second look at me. I had lost my Niall, my everything.
Tonight I decided I would try to confront him. I was so tired. Tired of being neglected. Tired of not know what's going. I waited that night till I heard Niall trip on in. I grabbed a random shirt of his and went down stairs. He sat at the table staring at his hands. I was really worried about him.
"Ni..." I waited for a reply. Nothing.
"Niall" I tried a little bit louder. I knew he could hear me, the house was dead silent. The air filled with out sounds of our breathing and the tiny creaks of the house.
"Niall, I'm tired of you ignoring me, what is wrong?" I was getting in patient. Isn't the person you love is who you turn to help for. Did Niall even love me?
"What do you want me to say?" He voice came out gravely and thick. It almost scared me a little.
"I want you to tell me why you have been pushing me out, neglecting me. Acting as though I don't exist? I need an answer. Now Niall, i'm sick if it." He turned to look at me with those sad bright blue eyes. I just wanted to run over and tell him everything will be alright, even though I don't know the problem.
