The summer everything changed | CF

10~You don't deserve that

Conrad took me to his car and was going to take me home, he started driving and asked. "Are you okay?" I looked over at him and shrugged.

"I don't think you're the one that has to worry about being like your dad." I'm not sure if that was the right thing to say, but that's what I was thinking. I have never seen Jeremiah act like that.

"Do you want to sneak out?" Jere asked as he cracked open my door, it was late. But I nodded and followed him out to the beach, running after him as he took off in a sprint. I laughed loudly, louder than I should have. I caught up to him and tripped him accidentally as I fell down right beside him out of breath.

"You're such a cheater, it's not fair." I shoved him and laughed, he laughed with me. Honestly, it's the most fun I've ever had in my life.

"Well you're a quicker runner than I am, I had to make up for it somehow." He teased.

"Maybe you're right." He muttered quietly, his radio wasn't loud enough to equal out how angry I just was. "What happened between you two?" He hesitantly spoke.

"You're such a liar." I shook my head, not believing him as he spoke to me.

"I am not!" He defended, tucking the hair behind my ear. "You're so pretty, Livvy, I want to do so much with you." I could feel my heart pounding, my breath picking up as he leaned in closer to me.

He kissed me, softly and gently. His lips were the softest things I have ever felt, this is my first kiss. It couldn't have been any more perfect. His hand placed against my cheek, and his thumb brushed against it. It started out soft and gentle, perfect enough for me to keep up with it. He moved slowly, then his lips parted and mine did with them. I just followed his movements like my eyes would follow the ocean. It progressed quickly, but not too quickly for me. I got the hang of it and felt a heat of rush throughout my body.

My cheeks were warm. I could almost feel myself getting lightheaded, but in a good way. The best way possible even. I grabbed his shirt with my hands for something to hold onto. His hand trailed up my arm in a way that sent chills straight down my spine. I wanted more quickly, I didn't know kissing was so good. I became a monster and placed his hand on my chest. I didn't think I'd ever find myself so consumed, especially not so fast. I thought gradually I'd want this, but as soon as he kissed me, I felt the passion. I gasped when he kissed my neck, I know I wasn't his first kiss but it didn't matter. I wanted him.

"That really happened?"

"Yes." I looked up and sighed. "He kissed me, touched my boob, and I thought about having sex with him. I mean, we both thought about it, definitely wouldn't have let that happen in the sand, though. So we walked back up to the house, and I decided I wasn't ready yet. He talked to me all the way till the day before we got here and I don't know got boy?" I shrugged, we were almost home. I could almost be done with this conversation. But I am emotionally and physically drained, I've never felt like that before. Not over a boy.

"Well, I'm glad you stood up for yourself Olivia." I'm not sure why he said my full name, but part of me really liked it. No one ever really called me Olivia, but it was nice to hear someone say it while also saying something good. Instead of using it like a punishment. "You've always had a hard time doing that, and it probably wasn't the best thing you could have done." He chuckled, making me smile. "But you can stand up for yourself, you didn't let him push you around. Don't let guys treat you like shit, you don't deserve that." I knew what that was angled around, and I kind of wanted to hug him. For two reasons, one being I could tell his heart was there. No one has seen it this summer, and I knew it was there. I wonder if Belly felt the way I did about Jeremiah right now with Conrad. If she did I could understand why suddenly she was hanging around him more. Maybe we got blindsided by the wrong boy.

"Thanks Connie." I wondered what he thought about me calling him that, and he gave me a small, genuine smile. He parked the car in the driveway and looked at me for what felt like too long, I want to kiss him. Oh no, dear good Olivia, hold yourself together. I swallowed, held the impulse in, and wrapped my arms around his neck. Nuzzling my chin against his shoulder. I know everyone was acting a little different this summer, but to me, he's the only one who's been normal. Not perfect, but normal.

Don't get me wrong. I can see his attitude towards other people, but he wasn't acting like that with me. He was more himself, even more than I saw when he was with everyone else. He hugged me back, as well as he could due to the angel because of the center console. He smelt good not like anything specific but good. He didn't let go till I did. "Thank you."

"Y-yeah of course, I was coming here anyway." He scratched his neck from the comment. True, but he didn't have to. There was a long pause where he just stared at me and I took a breath, realizing. We were thinking the same thing, but to act on it would be insane. It would be even worse than insane, whatever the word for that is.

He was with Nicole, and neither of us needed it, he had Nicole. Don't even think about it, he had Nicole and then there was Belly. Well, Belly is still in love with him, I think. I couldn't tell who she really loved or had feelings for. Jeremiah, Camron, or Conrad. But the only opportunity I had was Conrad. The only person I had consistently this summer was him. She had two boys chasing after her, and I only had one in front of me right now. I hate this, I hate this summer, I hate everything about it. How different it is and how I'm feeling right now, I was so close to betraying my sister. My twin sister. But thinking about what happened with Jere, Conrad was being more considerate. He is older, more mature, and more experienced.

His eyes were deep and soulful, they held so much emotion and something else I couldn't explain. He was stunning, his gaze burned mine. The tension was intense and when you read 'it can be cut with a knife.' It really does feel like it can be. It's insanely powerful. I didn't notice how close I was to him. Shamefully I wanted to be closer. I had so many things running through my head. Bad things.


    There was a knock on the window that really startled me. I turned and saw Steven, which means Jeremiah was also home. Well, there went the fun while it lasted, it was an—intriguing night for sure.