Falling down the rabbit hole

Loop

Disclaimer; these stories are based on MY experiences and are not meant to be taken in such a way for anyone else or anything like that.

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     Today, everything was normal. I woke up and get out of bed, then do my usual routine of showering and doing my hair before getting dressed. I felt energized and ready for the day, just like every other, but it felt that like joy was dimming as time passed.

     As soon as I had everything done, I headed off to school. It was all the same. A new class every hour, the same ones each day. They were boring, but I had my friends to speak to. We would joke and play, trying our best to not get caught by teachers.

     And, just like every other day, school ended at the exact same time. Today was a Friday, so I didn't have anything to do for the rest of the day. As soon as I got home, I changed out of my clothes and laid in bed, not bothering to pick them up.

Over the weekend, I did nothing. Every day was the same. I rotted in bed, usually on my phone doing mindless stuff. I only went to eat when I felt really hungry. Every day was boring during the weekend, having nothing to do. Sometimes l'd get a call, but they never lasted.

     And once school rolls around again on Monday, I repeat. Wake up, get ready, go to school, come back home, and do nothing. It was the same. It always was. Like a loop. I was stuck in a loop. The only thing that changes is the how I feel. Maybe I'm more energized, but most days I'm bored, tired.

     It's always the same. It never changes.
It's like a broken record, the same thing being played over and over again. It's maddening. It drives me insane. I try to change it, but it always goes back to the same routine. I hate it. It makes things feel like a game, where you start over at the same spot again after doing something mildly different only to get the same ending.

I'm so desperate for a change.