Derelict Whispers

iv

chapter 4: tell me why

"Kareem, what time will you be home?" I asked him as I fixed his collar.

My husband—yes, he's now officially mine. Sounds obsessive, doesn't it? But it's the truth. We got married three months ago. It was not a fairytale. It was not as grand as I imagined it to be, but that was okay. We simply invited close friends and relatives then the ceremony was done. Heaven wasn't able to attend for she had to leave for her work. She got accepted as a contractual professor in some universities in Chicago. I wished her luck, and she wished me happiness.

Even my biological father didn't attend. Everything just happened so fast that I almost got lost in the fast transition. Good thing that Kareem was there to guide me. He held me in my hands, but the soft smile was long gone in his lips. It was as if he became a different person right after our wedding. Or was he always like that? Did I just fail to notice?

What happened months ago was not my dream wedding, but that was fine. We married each other in the church; uttered vows I held dearly on my chest. I walked on the aisle as our wedding march was played in the background. It was not my favorite song, but I accepted it. There were scattered flowers everywhere, but those were not my favorite. But that was okay. Everything was okay with me. It's all fine. As long as he is the groom, I just don't care anymore. What matters the most is us being married; officially tied to each other.

"I don't know," Kareem responded in a baritone voice, eyes fixated on his buttons. "Just don't wait for me."

I blinked slowly as I slowly looked up to him. Will he really be that busy?

"Will you be that busy?" I tried to confirm. He didn't meet my gaze. Instead, he busied himself fixing his buttons as if I am not already fixing it for him, but I ignored that. What matters now is his schedule.

"I have no idea." He shrugged. "Probably won't be that busy. The hospital's overstaffed."

"Isn't it a good thing?"

He was fast to nod. "It is."

I stopped for a while as well and stared at him to check his expression, but it remained neutral; almost void of emotions. Sighing, I just nodded and whispered, "Okay."

I was done fixing his collar for him, so I took a step back as he turned around to fix himself. I sat on the side of the bed as I watched him fix his hair this time.

I stared at him; his broad back came to my view. He was wearing a gray polo shirt tucked in his black slacks. For a doctor, he quite has a lot of time to wander around. Maybe the hospital's not that busy, really. Or maybe his service isn't that in-demand at all time. As per he said, they are overstaffed. Almost always overstaffed.

"Can you text me once you get a free time?" I asked him softly, almost pleading for his attention.

Funny how I used to keep my tone straight back then, but look at me now; almost begging him to look at my way.

Kareem didn't respond immediately. That took him almost two minutes to reply. His broad shoulder moved, back was still against me, when he finally spoke again, "It depends."

I blinked as his response rang like a bell, and nodded slowly. "Okay."

Depends? How does he do that? Like it should be a matter between life and death? Like he would only reply to my texts when it's urgent? Or when he only remembers? What depends?