Yaveria - 1917

Chapter 1 - Page 4

The rest of the day is filled with the same noises, just constant shelling, gunshots, and me operating my machine gun. It feels like we're just mindless humans trying to kill each other without any true goals or satisfaction. Just pure mindless people.

What feels like an eternity just continues ahead, eventually the day turns into night. I tuck myself inside my coat, as I take my pen from my chest pocket and my small notebook I stored inside my ammunition pouch.

Day 9, I don't know what comes to my mind lately, but it seems to be a serious matter. I have no idea why I have these feelings of guilt and regrets? I really can't find the answer right now. I guess what Grotny says feels oddly real now, and it is just too scary for me.

I sighed briefly, as I thought about the next thing I wanted to write. Perhaps about my life? Or my wife again? I don't know, I missed the time where I could just sleep peacefully on a bed, hugged by someone. I missed the time when someone could just reach my hand and assure me that "it's all going to be fine."

I wonder how Nat is doing back there. Hopefully she'll be alright while I'm busy in the front. Ah... I shouldn't worry much, I'll just ask Sergeant to pass my envelope away, it's not like a big deal for her. Well... I must say I missed those times. I should have focused more of my time with her when I had the time...

Anyways... I shouldn't be overthinking, am I? Well, guess I'll just get to sleep before Sergeant caught me writing stuff instead of actually doing my night shift. We'll surely meet again, Nat... I will not break my promise.

I immediately put my pen back inside my pocket, and my small notebook back into where I always hide it. Just as I stood up, Sergeant walks in to see whether or not I'm actually doing my night shift. So, I just stood up there, as I pretended to be peeking at the enemy's trench.

She just sighed exasperatedly, as she walked away. "Good to know you aren't sleeping in your shift, like you always do, Private." I chuckled, even though I don't actually want to. Just to make sure she's not curious with what I've actually done when she's not looking around.

I gaze back at the sky, looking at the stars and the moon, as I inhale my breath deeply. I couldn't really think properly, and stood there with my mind fully blank. "I think I went a little too far..." I spoke to myself.