La Serenissima (Venice)

Chapter 1: William The Bastard

"Three, two, one, Happy Birthday!"

"- come on honey blow out the candles"

I can't watch this.

"You missed one, get it quick before the birthday monster steals it." I smiled, a pained, subdued one but a smile nonetheless. I had been twelve, how could it still hurt like this? Guess it's true, the duller the blade, the more pain you feel. You're powerless as it punctures your fragile soul, tearing the fibers of your will leaving you broken and dejected. The memory will haunt you, no matter how hard you fight it.

"- say bye bye to the camera, over here, bye." Faces, voices- things that now exist only in my memory. God knows that day will live with me forever.

"Alexandra?" my mother's sprightly voice echoed from the kitchen. "Honey I can hear the television on, you have that math exam tomorrow you need your rest." Was it a crime to be less caring? It was a sixth grade math exam, how hard could that be?

"Oh for heaven's sake Giuliana, lighten up would you, a little television can't harm anyone," my father added with a deep chuckle. Even though I was four rooms away I could still feel my mother's heated glare as it radiated through the kitchen. I giggled, poking my head out the door to send her a coy smile.

"I'm going to bed, goodnight"

"You better, goodnight sweetie."

Those were the last words she ever spoke. I could still remember the scent of the house that night. A wisp of lemon and lavender from the kitchen as she lathered the dishes. She always seemed to smell of dish washing liquid at bedtime, I've never noticed how refreshing it was until the scent had been quelled by thick, repugnant blankets of smoke. The memory in itself was nauseating, the immense heat in my room, opening my eyes to the peculiar haze. I was only twelve but my instincts were sharp enough to alert my body to what was going on. Racing down the corridor to get them, to let them know our house was on fire but my muscles went stiff and cold at the realization that I was too late. Thick clouds of smoke emitting from behind the charred door was all the evidence I needed to confirm my greatest fear, I had lost them.

The realization was too much to take on so I hid from the world to wallow in my despair. Solitude had become my new family and pain my dearest friend. My mother was from Italy, too great a distance to travel, too much to leave behind. All I had was my father's family but they lived thousands of miles away in a different state. My best friend Aimee was all I had and I couldn't leave at a time when I needed her more than ever. I was beyond surprised when my mother's older sister Victoria took me in, despite being only a few miles away from my home.

Despite living in the same state, Victoria and my mother weren't the ideal siblings. They lived in two worlds which coexisted disparately, my mother married an archaeological researcher whose paycheck never exceeded what we needed to cover basic necessities and Victoria married a millionaire Hotelier from California. I warmed up to her over the years but I wouldn't extend our relationship to label it a caring and nurturing one. Neither she nor her husband exhibited any levels of tender affection towards their two children, Matt and Judy. We were treated all as investments in their pride. I was forced to develop any God or man given talents and mold them into something they were be proud of. Matt was proficient at sports, particularly football, leading his high school to victory for two seasons and Judy had mastered grades eight violin, piano and flute by the age of eleven. I wasn't particularly good at anything so I settled on acting. I wasn't one to overdramatize a situation and I was familiar with several playwrights thanks to my mother's admiration for the stage.

Who would've thought ten years later I would be an actress. People's magazine's most preeminent young talent of our generation. I can easily say that without the help of Bill and Victoria I would be waiting tables at some street restaurant in Kentucky but instead I'm here, lying on a bed in one of the most upscale condos in Los Angeles at 5am bawling my eyes out. My buzzer sounded snapping me from my desolation.