Don't Worry Baby

Everybody Needs Somebody To Love

December 31st, 1964

The drive to the coffee house with Perry was making Carol nervous. She had never told a guy she loved them before. A couple of days ago, she had asked John about girls making the first move to say ‘I love you’ and if it meant the guy didn’t feel the same if he didn’t say it first. He assured her that’s not always the case. Since Perry was an artsy guy, maybe he was just a little shy about doing it first or scared. She and Perry had been dating for about four months now; he was two years older than her and was in college.  New Year's Eve seemed like the best time to tell him. It felt romantic going into the new year, knowing they loved each other.

“Here we are,”  Perry announced as they pulled into a parking spot.  “They have the best tea here.”

“I thought they would have the best coffee,” Carol remarked as she stepped out of the car.

"Well, they have both, Carol. Just because it’s a coffee house doesn’t mean they can’t do other things," Perry replied, sounding a bit more annoyed than necessary. Carol just shrugged it off and followed him inside. It smelled terrific, with different sweet and bitter smells mixed, as a guy and girl sat in a corner playing guitar while she sang. Carol had never been to a place like this before. It was pretty neat.
“Why don’t you grab a seat over there, and I’ll grab us some coffee,”  Perry proposed. Carol nodded and went to find a table.

As Carol sat, she rehearsed what she was going to say to Perry and how she would say it, hoping he would feel the same way. She really hoped he did. Pushing any 'what-ifs' from her head, telling herself it would be okay, yet her stomach felt like it was going to flip.

“Here we go, two espressos,”  Perry placed two small porcelain cups in front of her as he sat across the table from her.  “They are more caffeinated than coffee.”

“Wow, I hope I don’t get too jittery,”  Carol nervously joked, but Perry didn’t laugh. Instead, he just brought his cup closer to him. Carol sipped the espresso slowly and decided right then and there that she preferred sweet and creamy coffee over this bitter drink.  “So, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

"Oh, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, too," he said. Carol took this as a good sign. "Why don't you go first?" he suggested. Carol nodded, chewing her lip, unsure of where to begin.

“Well, these last few months have been really great, ya know?”  She started.  “And I’ve dated anyone like you before, and it’s been really fun, and I really like you a lot, and I guess what I’m trying to say is-”  Perry cut her off by placing his hands over hers.

“I think I know what you’re trying to say.”

“You do?”  She asks excitedly.

“Yeah,” he nods.  “I’ve been feeling the same way and wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”  Carol’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. 

“Well, this is great!” she exclaimed. “I was so nervous the whole way over here because I didn’t know how to tell you that I love you, and to hear you say you feel the same way is such a relief!”

“Carol, wait a minute.  I-”

“I’ve never told a guy I loved them before,” she went on.  “Well, none that weren’t family.”

“Carol, please stop for a moment.”  Perry spoke louder, an anxious look on his face.

“What?  What’s wrong?”

“Carol,”  he began, carefully choosing his words.  “I wasn’t going to say I love you.”

“You…you weren’t?”  A knot was forming in her throat, and her chest was feeling tight.

“No, I’m sorry.”  he apologized.  “You’re a swell girl, but I just don’t think we’re a good match.”

John felt on top of the world. He had won the race, and even though the sponsor he thought he would end up with didn’t work out, it was okay because Eva kissed him. It was only up from here. 1965 was going to be his year; he felt it. As he opened his car door to place the trophy in, he heard someone shout his name. Turning to look, he saw Carol.

“What are you doing back here?” he asked her, setting the trophy down. Carol stomped her way over to him, and it was only then that he realized she looked far from happy.

“You were wrong!  You told me it was okay for the girl to make the first move, and you were wrong, you asshole!”  She cried, and once she was close enough, he could see the tears in her eyes.

“Whoa, hey, what happened?” he tried to ask, but before he knew it, she was slapping at him. It wasn’t hard, but he still did his best to dodge her hands as the slaps turned into unformed punches.

“I made a fool out of myself!”  she cried,  “He didn’t love me; he was going to break up with me!”

“He what?”  John tried to get her to stop so he could understand what she was saying. Before someone called the cops, thinking this was a domestic situation.“Kid, stop for a minute.”

“I told him I loved him, and he broke up with me!”  She sobbed quietly into his chest, and John didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her as she cried and cried.  He rubbed his hand up and down her back, tucking her head under his chin.

“Shh, it’s okay.  He was a dweeb anyways.”  He tried to console her.

"Why don’t guys like me?" she asked through the sobs. "What is it about me that’s so terrible?" John gripped her shoulders, holding her back so he could look her in the eye. "Nothing about you is terrible, got it?" Her tear-stained face broke his heart, and more than anything, he wanted to hurt Perry and make him feel the way she was feeling. "You’re funny, you’re smarter than you think, and you’re fun to be around. Don’t let these assholes make you feel any different. You hear me?" Carol sniffled but nodded.

“I just feel so pathetic.”

“You’re not, I promise you. You’re not.”  He cups her cheek, using his thumb to swipe away the last few falling tears. “You’ll meet the right guy someday. You’re young Carol. You got so much ahead of you.”

“That’s what every old person says.”  She groans and John just rolls his eyes.

“Well, take it from this old person,” he says. Come on, I’ll drive you home.”  She nods, and they walk to his car. As they slide in, she notices it’s now past midnight and she can’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?”  He asks her as he starts the car.

“We missed the clock striking midnight,”  She laughs.  “I was so upset, I walked around downtown awhile before calling a cab to take me back here that I forgot it was New Year’s Eve. I thought this would be the first year I’d have someone to kiss.”  John watched her as she talked, and hated how anyone could make a person as upbeat as Carol feel so bad.  Without thinking about it, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, a little longer than the time he did when dropped her off after they first met.

“Happy New Year’s, kid.”  She smiled brightly at him and he couldn’t lie, it warmed his heart to see her smile.  As he drove her home, he let her listen to whatever music she wanted. Even that surfin’ shit.