The Nightmare (Bucky x !fem!reader)

I miss him

Warning: light swearing

Word count: 982

Bucky was gone on a long mission and he wouldn't be back for 3 more days. God, Y/N missed him so much, her chest physically started to hurt. Ever since he left, she's been having this reoccurring nightmare. It's horrible. It's realistic. She's given up on sleep because every night when she wakes up alone, the tears come, pouring out of her eyes. She hates it.

*3 days until Bucky comes home*

Y/N was wondering around the compound, wearing Bucky's hoodie. It was at least 2 sizes too big on her but she couldn't care less. She missed Bucky and it provided her the comfort she so desperately needed. She walked into the kitchen and stood beside Wanda as she cooked some pasta. "Morning Wanda" Y/N mumbled. She was ready to just lay on the floor and sleep but she knew the nightmares would return. Haunting her like a ghost. She shuddered at the thought, Wanda shooting quizzical looks in her direction. "You look like a fucking corpse Y/N, get some sleep. You need it" Wanda continued to stir her pasta, watching Y/N carefully as she poured her coffee. "I'm fine sparkle fingers don't worry." Wanda laughed quietly at her nickname. "I would give you a nickname relating to your powers but you have a lot so..." Wanda just doesn't complete her sentence and turns off the hob, letting her pasta cool. "Well, ask Tony. He nicknames people like there's no tomorrow." Y/N says, sipping her coffee.

Tony walks in, acting like he wasn't eavesdropping. "I've got a nickname for you Y/N." Y/N just rolls her eyes. "Go on Tony." Wanda says, trying not to laugh at Y/N's reaction. "Well, you know how she's the Violet Witch?" Tony pours himself a glass of water. "Tony you promised you wouldn't call me the..." Tony cuts her off. "The violent bitch" Wanda, who was eating her pasta, chokes on it slightly, laughing quietly. Y/N rolls her eyes and sticks her middle finger up at him. Her acts offended and puts his hand over the arc reactor in his chest. "Why do you still have that... thing in your chest tin can? You had the surgery to get rid of the shrapnel!" Tony just shrugs, watching Wanda as she walks out with her bowl of pasta. "It's a part of me. Now, number 1, stop calling me tin can." His request was met with a smirk from Y/N. "And number 2, lets talk about... this." He motions at her outfit which consists a messy bun and Bucky's hoodie. "What? I'm just feeling lazy today." She sits on a stool, downing the remainder of the coffee.
"Y/N" He sits opposite her, concern painted on his face. "What's going on? You've been wearing headphones everywhere, you haven't slept in days. And what is with Bucky's hoodie? Why are you wearing it like your life depends on it?" Y/N sighs, not ready to open up yet. HYDRA gave her some major trust issues, the whole team knew this. Wanda, Natasha and Bucky were the only ones she partially opened up to. "It's... It's nothing Tony." Tony stares at her, knowing full well she's lying. "Don't bullshit me Y/N Y/L/N. I know when something's up. You shut down and isolate yourself. It's not healthy." She flinches slightly at the use of her full name. It reminded her of her days ay HYDRA. The days she longed to forget.

*Flashback*

Y/N was strapped to the memory suppressing machine, Alexander Pierce watching as she screamed in pain. She felt as her memories faded, leaving nothing behind but her 'loyalty' to HYDRA. An agent turned the machine off and Pierce started talking to her.

"So, Mrs Y/N Y/L/N, ready to comply yet? Or do we need to use... other methods?"

"Ready to comply sir" She uttered, her face blank, staring at him.

"Good. You know the mission."

He unstraps her and allows her to stand.

*End of flashback*

"Hello? Y/N?" Tony waves a hand in her face, trying to get her to snap back to reality. She blinks a few times and looks at him. "What?" Tony sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I said, what's going on with you? And don't say nothing or I'll get Sam in here to annoy the shit out of you until you talk." Y/N puts her head on the kitchen counter, eyes closed. "Listen, Tony, I'm not..." She sighs and sits up. "...I'm not good at this. The whole... feelings thing. I'm used to having my emotions taken so I'm struggling to deal with this sudden wave of feelings." She starts fiddling with the ring Bucky gifted her for their 1 year anniversary, avoiding eyes contact with Tony. "Hey." He gently puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's ok. I can see you miss Bucky but I also see, something else is wrong. If you're not ready to talk, that's fine but when you are, I'll be in my room ok?" He stands up, moving his hand away. As he turns away and starts walking, Y/N speaks.

"Wait." He spins back around. "Yeah?" Y/N stands up and walks over to him, hugging him. Tony, who never receives affection from her, hugs her back, knowing something is really wrong. She moves away, tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry I didn't..." Tony cuts her off by pulling her back in for another hug. She wraps her arms around him, missing the feeling of hugging someone. That warm feeling that spreads through her chest, spreading throughout her entire body. She waited for the feeling to arrive, but it never did. She felt just as empty as before. Just as numb. Her grip loosened and Tony let go of her. "Remember, if you need to talk, my room is only 2 doors away." He gave her a quick smile before walking away, leaving her alone with her thoughts.