Bojack Horseman And The Troubled Fairy

Chapter One

Bojack's POV

I take a long drag off of my cigarette. My head feels so heavy, so full of thoughts. How can something be so loud, it becomes quiet? I wish people knew how much I hated myself. How could they though? I push them away too far for them to see beyond the persona I portray.
I take another long drag watching as the wind blows the smoke towards the chairs by the pool. I wish I could escape. I wish I could forgive...

By the morning, I managed to shower and comb my mane. I know it's not much, but maybe a small walk could do me some good. I may have just done a couple lines, but I believe that's medicinal. Others opinion on that matter aren't relevant.
I walk out of my room making sure to lock it behind me. Todd is nosey. And destructive.
"Heyyy! Bojack!.. "
Speaking of Todd.
"Hi, Todd." I speak dryly. "I'm going out. Please don't bring any more elephant chicks here. I know you have a weird "friendship" or "book club" with them, but they're breaking all our toilets with the weight of their shit."
I roll my eyes hoping he doesn't take offense. I said please after all.
"Mm... Okay Bojack. And it's not a book club. They're my drivers for my upgraded Cabracadabra. We're making the ultimate bus. Female drivers only. Ya' know. To help the ladies. "
Half the time I don't even listen to the things he says. I zone out by the second word that leaves his mouth.

I walk out of my house and pull out my bowl. Luckily it's already packed. I wasn't planning on going back inside any time soon. I saw some elephants pull up. Hopefully Todd listens to me and takes whatever he's doing elsewhere...
I spark my bowl and begin my walk. I don't know where I'm going. Or what I'm doing other than walking. I just want to see how long it takes to dissociate into a different world. I don't want to be in my house, I don't want to be anywhere..
I take another hit from my bowl as I start to go downhill. I come to a fork in the road and decide to go right. I'm not sure if I've been this way before. I couldn't be certain though.. I don't remember much of anything. Speaking of.. I have a nice buzz going, but it could be stronger. I should find a place to stop and do a couple more lines.

I guess the fork in the road brought me to the same place as the left side would have. I walk up to my local park that isn't too far from the house, and continue towards the waterfall on the trail. Not many people know of this spot. I found it when I took too many tabs of acid.. How is it none of my memories include a version of sober me?.. I shake my head to get rid the unwanted thoughts and continue down the trail, hitting my bowl some more.

I come up to the waterfall and begin to shimmy behind it, shaking profusely until I reach the safety of the cave behind it. This cave is open at the top, so the sun illuminates the space. It's warm too, which is nice. I have a chair here, and a small bucket I use for a table. That's how I can tell not many people know of this spot. My stuff is never moved, or taken.
I go towards my stash hidden neatly inside a hole in the cave wall, then take a seat. Perhaps one day I could be different, but I doubt it. I've found comfort in my dysfunction, and constant downward spiral. I've accepted I'm a piece of shit.
I take a long sniff and take a hard breath in. I open my eyes and look up towards the trees- and sun shining down into the cave. The feeling of the last line sinks into my body and makes my mind start to do spirals.. No-wait.. Dances.. -jumping jacks?? My thoughts are a puzzle. I wish I could escape... I need to escape.

I must have passed out because I don't remember closing my eyes. Or it raining. There was water everywhere and my cocaine was ruined.
I let out an angry grunt and make my way back towards my house. I probably won't make it. My blacking out problem has been getting increasingly worse. Im not getting any younger. But doesn't every celebrity's fate end this way? I wince at the remembrance of Sarah Lynn. She was a good girl. A good woman even. I feel horrible for playing a part in what happened to her.

The next thing I know I'm waking up on my couch. Whether I made it home by myself, or Diane found me wandering and dropped me off. I don't see her laptop anywhere though. So maybe I did make it back on my own. I nod to myself, feeling a little proud.
I walk towards my freezer and pull out a frozen waffle, placing it in the toaster. I also pick up the bottle of Xanax sitting next to the unused coffee pot and take at least 3. I don't look anymore. Just put some in my hand and down it.
I'm not entirely sure what Princess Carolyn has planned for me today but I'm sure it's tedious and requires me to be nice. Which I'm not.
I take a bite of my waffle but the silence is interrupted by my phone going off a little too loudly for my liking.
I see Princess Carolyn on the caller ID and decide to answer. Which I tend to rarely do.
"Bojack! Surprised you answered. Gotta tell you that Diane added her half sister to her department with you. You'll have a new assistant. I'm thinking it'll help take some of the load off Diane. You're a handful Bojack." She spoke.
A new assistant you say? Maybe a new fling even. Who knows. They all come and go. It doesn't really matter.
"Ok. How old is she?"
"Don't worry about it, she's your assistant and Diane's sister. Nothing more. I don't know much about her. Regardless. No minors are allowed to work for VIM."
I hang up as I've heard enough. At least I think I have. I finish my now cold waffle and head towards my car sitting crooked in the driveway. I guess I'll head over to Diane's and see what she's up to. I'm not sure when I fell asleep but it's bright and early now. And I'm awake. Might as well go out and waste my time outside of my house for a change.