Friends with benefits - ATEEZ Yunwoo

15

Kim Hongjoong*

Annoyed, I sighed deeply and shoved my phone back into my pocket with frustration. Seonghwa and I had actually planned to look for outfits for our performances together today, but he had just informed me that he had an important meeting with a lecturer and couldn't make it. He promised to come later, but I didn't think he would.

Clenching my lips, I took out my phone again and opened the Kakaotalk App. The chat with Mingi was open, and I considered writing to him and asking for help. But no, I should probably leave it alone. He still wasn't answering me. I simply couldn't reach him by phone or in a one-on-one conversation. He just kept ignoring me.

Frustration welled up inside me. I had probably trusted too much that he would forgive me. Maybe I had really hurt him too deeply. But at the same time, a strange feeling gnawed at me. What was it exactly? Remorse? That I hadn't realized Mingi had feelings for me? Lately, I'd been toying with the idea of what if. But I was happy with Seonghwa, wasn't I? I was just a little confused.

Damn...

I couldn't shake the thoughts about Mingi. Did I like him? I wasn't sure, and that uncertainty was driving me crazy. Every time I thought about him, I felt a mix of guilt and something else I couldn't quite identify. Was it longing? Regret? I didn't know.

The last few times we had been together, there was a tension in the air. Something unspoken lingered between us, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was mutual. Had I missed the signs? Had Mingi been feeling this way all along, and I was too blind to see it?

I replayed our interactions in my mind, trying to find clues. His laughter, the way he looked at me, the subtle touches that seemed to linger a little too long. My thoughts kept drifting back to him, and each time they did, I felt a flutter in my chest.

But I was with Seonghwa, and I was supposed to be happy. Yet, here I was, questioning my feelings and my relationship. Did that mean something was wrong? Or had I just been thinking too much because Mingi had confessed his love for me and was now avoiding me? It was all so confusing.

I shook my head slightly to clear my jumbled thoughts and decided to search for clothes and inspiration on my own. With my headphones on, I set out to explore various shops in Seoul, determined to find the perfect outfits for our performances. The city was bustling with energy, and I hoped that the vibrant atmosphere might spark some creativity.

I wandered through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of boutiques and department stores. Most were showcasing winter clothing, so I decided to try my luck in another part of the city, hoping to stumble upon a good idea. The fashion district was usually a goldmine for inspiration, and I was confident in my ability to find something unique.

After two hours of searching, however, I still hadn't found anything suitable. Where had my creative self gone? Was I really so depressed by everything that I couldn't even find good outfits? The frustration was mounting, and I felt the weight of our upcoming performance pressing down on me. We needed these outfits, the music wasn't finished, the choreography was sloppy, and it was all so important to me. But it just wasn't working.

I left the last store and stood on the sidewalk, looking around with a sense of defeat. Where should I go now? Should I just go home and give up? No, I couldn't do that. I had to keep pushing. And I also wanted...

Wait, was that Wooyoung?

I watched in surprise as the younger one came out of a Victoria's Secret store, holding a pink-and-white bag. Had he really been in there? "Hey, Woo!" I called out to him as he walked past me. But he completely ignored me, and I turned around in confusion. "Woo?"