Mario: The Hero(?)

What Really Happens in Mario...

"Alright, I'm on my last life" Mario said as he ate the last fire flower he had in stock. It's tiny screams still echoed off of his throat before finally ending in his stomach.
"I need to hurry this up or else Luigi might actually have a chance to be the hero"
Mario then glanced annoyingly at his clumsy brother, who was actually making good progress through Bowser's lava filled fortress.
"Alright Mario, you can do this. Just a well aimed fireball and..."
With this Mario hurled the flame with all his might, hitting Luigi right in the head. The brother tripped from the sheer force of the fireball, landing right into a pit of lava. As he burned slowly, his words were "Dammit Mario! I only have two mushrooms left!"
"Oh shut up Luigi! This is why mom liked me better, because I never whined" Mario then chuckled to himself, remembering all the times he laughed at Luigi as a child, being scolded by their mother constantly. "Ah, good times" Mario then trudged on through the fortress, burning Dry Bones until he couldn't get up and dodging the notorious spike traps.
Then he noticed it. Far off into the distance. A lone brick block.
"Well well well, looks like this is my lucky day" Mario said happily as he got ready to jump up and punch he block. But in the distance he heard his brother crying out to him.
"Mario wait up! You know these short legs can't run fast!" Luigi was waddling slowly towards him, trying not to get noticed by a wandering Dry Bones.
"Will you quiet down brother! I think I just hit the jackpot" With this said, Mario punched the Block as hard as he could...
And came down hard on the floor. The impact knocked him all the way down to his small form, and seemed to shatter his hand.
"Goddammit!" Mario swore as he clutched his hand and looked up, only to see the block come down and squash him flat. As the death music played ominously, Luigi looked at the block, terrified.
"Please Mr.Block, I don't want any trouble" Luigi seemed to melt to the floor, cowering in front of the block.
"Oh, you don't want any trouble? Killing sixty percent of the Kingdom's population with your block smashing sprees seems like you're asking for trouble" The voice seemed to come out of the holes in the cement, and the entire block shook when it spoke "And my name is Toad number 364. Did you even ask the others what they're names were before you...." It was at this moment that the block named Toad noticed that Luigi had already ran away. He soon realized that this wasn't the brave brother, but the cowardly brother that claimed to see ghosts. So the block simply lifted itself back into position, and proceeded to wish with all his might that Bowser would be kind enough to return him to his fungi state.
MEANWHILE, AT BOWSER'S CASTLE...
"So when is Mario getting here? He's taking longer than usual" Peach said annoyed, although she was anything but annoyed at that moment, riding in bumper cars with Bowser and Daisy.
"Who knows? If we're lucky he won't come here at all" Bowser said then tipped over in his car "I told the Kooplings that this was too small for me..."
"Enough about Mario. Let's go play laser tag!" Daisy yelled, and they all ran to the laser tag stadium, running past all the attractions in Bowser's grand chamber in his castle. Peach continued wondering if her hero would ever come for her, but after a few rounds of laser tag, she barely remembered her hero's name.
THE END