Love & Other Curses, 1985 | bxb | ONC 2024

CHAPTER 11 - You Already Have Me

When falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness?

~ Mary Shelley, Frankenstein.

"What?" Thomas pulled away, surprised. "Why?"

"I'm ready for this, Thomas. Are you?" Adam asked, smiling from his eyes as much as his lips. "I don't want to give you a reason to hate me."

Thomas looked at the ground. "What if I'm not ready?"

"Then we stay friends." Adam pulled Mud Boy close and hugged him.

Thomas stood there without reciprocating, processing his desire against his beliefs, the gay men being arrested, and Lilly gawking somewhere in the shadows. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why couldn't he kiss the boy he liked? Or why couldn't he change who he liked? He didn't have any answers, but as he gave into the strength and understanding of the boy holding him, Thomas wrapped his long arms around Adam and sighed.

"I'm Sorry," Thomas whispered. "I really do—"

"You don't need to explain, not to me or anyone." Adam moved his hands to Thomas' head and let his fingers explore the dirty blond hair of the innocent boy, sensing the gears working overtime in his brain. "You already have me. When you're ready, I'll still be here, and until then, this is enough for me."

Thomas rested his head against Adam's solid chest, letting out a deep breath that felt more like a shudder. "Thank you."

Both boys could have spent the rest of the night that way, but Adam knew they had to make an appearance, so he eventually pulled away and ruffled Mud Boy's hair. "Now, let's go have some fun."

Thomas grinned. "Ok, but no drinking."

"What?" Adam groaned. "Dude, that's so mean."

But Adam Lawson never felt happier. He liked a boy. The thought made him smile because he never saw it coming. He never saw Thomas coming. However, better than liking a boy was falling in love with one, a miracle that silenced the Monster within. Where darkness had consumed his every thought in dejected seclusion, companionship dispelled the shadows and opened his heart to the incomparable lightness of being Adam.

Not the orphan, the foster kid, or the Monster—just Adam.

Wally's wing of the high-end estate blew away all expectations. The party room exceeded the footprint of a small-to-medium-sized home, and large, circular rings hung from the ceiling like art, overlapping each other, lighting the swanky space with neon colors. At the far end of the room, several kids lounged on cushy, bright red recliners, staged theater style, and watched a movie on a giant floor-to-ceiling screen. A pool table and ping pong table centered the room, where Lilly played with her soccer teammates. And popular arcade games lined the outer walls: Galaga, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Dig Dug, Gauntlet, and more.

Adam and Thomas entered the next-level recreation room by the fully stocked bar on the opposite side of the room from the theater. A bunch of their teammates and a few girlfriends surrounded a table by the bar and yelled in celebration as Tony bounced a quarter into a plastic cup, prompting the entire group to down a shot of tequila.

"Hey, look, it's Thomas," Jon yelled. He splashed another round into the shot cups and raised his glass in a tipsy toast. "To the savior of drowning women, interceptor of balls, and bringer of Adam Lawson."

Everyone cheered and downed their drink.

"Dude, I can't believe you came," Tony said, draping an arm around Thomas. "About damn time." The speedy running back whispered into his ear with all the subtlety of a bad drunk, "And just between you and me, Debbie is out by the pool waiting to be saved."