Write you a song | Han Jisung

13

Sitting on a bench in a small park, I gazed at the restaurant Jisung had shown me. It became a daily ritual, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I knew I shouldn't, but how could he vanish from my life so abruptly? One moment he kissed me, the next he disappeared, blocking me on every platform. I felt paralyzed, unable to move forward. What tortured me most was the inability to erase him from my mind. Every attempt to forget him was thwarted by reminders, whether a song on the radio or a random TikTok edit on my For You Page.

In every interview, he appeared genuinely happy. I couldn't resist watching them all, consumed by questions: Was I just a joke to him? Did he find someone else across the globe? Did he write songs for her too? None of it added up. With a heavy sigh, I rose from the bench. Today, like many before, he wouldn't appear. He likely wasn't even in Korea. Glancing at my phone, I restarted my song. Despite the pain it brought, his voice was my only solace, guiding me through the day.

As I walked, lost in my thoughts, I collided with someone unexpectedly. "I'm sorry," I murmured, ready to continue on, but the person's words stopped me in my tracks. "Wait... aren't you Koko?" I looked up, meeting the gaze of Lee Know. My lips quivered, and I shook my head. "Please... I can't talk to you, or I'll break down," I whispered, attempting to move past him, but he gently grasped my wrist. "Koko, please listen to me," he pleaded. Unable to contain my emotions any longer, tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I don't want to listen to you!" I snapped, anger surging through me. "He misses you," Lee Know stated simply. "He misses me? That's strange, considering he's the one who kissed me and then disappeared!" I shouted, frustration boiling over. "He didn't want to but-" Lee Know began, but I cut him off. "Well, he did!" I insisted, tears streaming down my face. "Minho, he broke me." My sobs drew attention from passersby, and Lee Know pulled me into a hug, but it offered little comfort.

I leaned into Lee Know's embrace, feeling utterly lost. I needed Jisung, he was like a drug, and I didn't make it through rehab. Maybe if he was a normal boy, I could someday, but not when he is everywhere. Lee Know held me in silence for a while before speaking softly, "I know he should be the one to explain to you, but he isn't doing well, Koko." He continued, "Management didn't like the stunt of him singing the song he wrote for you on stage, and they didn't like that he said he wrote it for someone. They made him block you everywhere and gave him a new phone without your number in it so he couldn't contact you again. He isn't even allowed to use his own social media. He tried making fake accounts, but they found out." Lee Know's explanation left me stunned, struggling to comprehend the situation.

"He looks happy in your interviews," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "He's a pretty good actor. As soon as the cameras are off, he doesn't talk anymore. He isn't even talking to me. He only eats when we make him. He isn't sleeping... he is miserable, Koko," Lee Know revealed. "But I'm miserable too," I cried, the truth of my words heavy in the air. It was undeniable. I had likely lost about 15 pounds, and I couldn't remember the last time I had a proper night's sleep.

"Come with me. You need to see him. He will apologize, and you can be together," Lee Know pleaded, gripping my shoulders firmly. "But how would that work? What if your management finds out again? I can't go through this a second time. It would destroy me," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "We'll buy him a burner phone. We'll give him alibis so he can meet you. Just please come with me. I'm worried about him, and honestly, now that I see you, I'm worried about you too," he urged. Tears continued to stream down my face uncontrollably. "I'll come with you," I mumbled, giving in to the overwhelming mix of emotions.