Confusion and Confession

Curiosity

Over the past week, Jabra and Draxus had managed to establish a semi-functional friendship. Jabra found himself thinking about Draxus, about that night, over and over again. Lucci has been getting closer to Draxus and even occasionally flirting with him. Jabra couldn't understand why he felt jealous but he did at least a little bit. Maybe because Lucci gets on his fucking nerves and he simply couldn't stand the man. "Hey boss I gotta question." He asked Draxus one day when they were alone. Draxus raised his eyebrow at him and he crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at him with a curious expression on his face. "Do you like Lucci?" Jabra asked bluntly and Draxus looked surprised by his question. Jabra narrowed his eyes at him and waited for his response. "I think that... he's a charming man." Was all Draxus responded with as he glanced away. Draxus turned his attention back to the paperwork on his deck. Jabra was sitting in a chair in front of his desk, now leaning forward. "I bet he's charming alright." He mumbled under his breath with an angry tone. "So... you like him then?" Jabra asked as he glared at Draxus and he felt a knot forming in his stomach. Draxus stopped writing and looked up at him with a curious expression on his face. "I didn't say that... Besides, why do you care?" Draxus asked while tilting his head to the side and running a hand through his hair. Why did Jabra give a shit if Draxus liked Lucci or not? "I... I don't know. It just bothers me..." Jabra admitted softly as he looked at Draxus. "He's an asshole... and I don't like the way he treats people. I think you can do better than him." Jabra said seriously as he met Draxus's gaze. Draxus smiled at him and Jabra felt his face heating up. Draxus had a gorgeous smile and he couldn't stop himself from staring at him.

"I appreciate your concern Jabra, but Lucci is too young for me I think. Even you were almost too young to catch my interest... er.. well.." Draxus rumbled realizing what he just said and turned his attention back to his work. "Sorry about that." He apologized and cleared his throat as he wrote on his paperwork. "It's fine," Jabra said quietly and he looked at Draxus. He was blushing slightly and he felt butterflies in his stomach. The older man was attractive and he couldn't stop himself from admiring him. Jabra wanted to ask him more questions but he didn't want to embarrass himself. "Hey uh.. Boss.." He said quietly and Draxus looked at him with a curious expression on his face. He hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before meeting Draxus's gaze. "When did you know you liked dudes?... Like, how did you figure it out?..." Jabra asked awkwardly and Draxus looked surprised by his question. Draxus raised both of his eyebrows for a moment and looked up at Jabra. What the fuck? Where was this coming from all of a sudden? "I don't want to talk about it Jabra... I was a teenager and it just happened." Draxus explained vaguely and looked up when Jabra stood from the chair. "Come on boss! You can't just leave it at that." Jabra said as he looked at him with a curious expression on his face and he was eager to learn more about him. "I'm trying to understand you better," Jabra said softly as he looked at Draxus who frowned deeply. Jabra wanted to learn more about him and he knew that Draxus liked him. He wanted to know what Draxus saw in him and why he was interested in him. Maybe if he heard Draxus's story then he could better manage his own feelings. "It's the least you can do since I didn't kick your ass for last week," Jabra said jokingly as he gave him a playful grin and Draxus sighed heavily.

"That was low, even for you." Draxus retorted back making Jabra chuckle. But he did still feel guilty for kissing and groping Jabra like that while he was drunk. "Fine, sit." He said and watched Jabra quickly sit down with a triumphant smile. "I was about 13? Maybe a little bit older when I became sexually curious and took an interest in women, or I tried to. But my focus was always more on the men, I couldn't help it. After sleeping around with some women I decided to get drunk one night and slept with a man for the first time. That's all it took to confirm that I was gay." Draxus explained with his usual calm demeanor. "Wow.. you started early huh?" Jabra commented and Draxus rolled his eyes at him. "You really are something else, boss." Jabra laughed and shook his head before looking at Draxus with a serious expression on his face. "Thanks for telling me that... I appreciate it." Jabra said seriously and Draxus looked at him with a slight smile. Jabra smiled back at him and they sat in silence for a moment before Jabra cleared his throat. "So uh... how many guys have you been with?" He asked curiously and he couldn't stop himself from asking the question. Draxus gave him a disapproving look and Jabra shrugged his shoulders. "Just curious." He said honestly and he was wondering what kind of men Draxus had slept with. "I don't know how many I've been with Jabra." He said with a deadpan expression and rubbed his temples. Ugh.. he did not want to talk about this stuff with him.