𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑: N.SHEFF

008

"Let go of me!" I shout as my father gripped me down, breaking down in his arms. "Nic, Nic.." he tried to comfort me as i let out of his grip forcing me,

"Nic, please." At that exact moment, i felt betrayed by everyone that i loved- communication was Luna's key- I don't know why she stopped.

i never heard a goodbye, or her last 'i love you, nic.' it broke me- not even know when she's coming back or even if she is- once she goes to another country her number would change.

i knew i ended the both of us, but i never meant it, i was just tired. Every stare i gave i hoped to signal her that i missed her.

I was looking out the passenger seat, as my father got in the drivers seat, slamming the door as i saw his reflection looking at me.

"Nic, she didn't want me to- i cant, really. Maybe it's better off this way." my blood boiled- my red tinten skin got more flushed as i got angrier.

"You know it's gonna make me worse, Dad." My voice cracked, "She didn't even say goodbye." i looked away, covering my lips from sobbing.

"Maybe because it isn't goodbye, Nic." I look at him then rolled my eyes away again, hearing him sigh, "You both clearly needed a break-"

"We both did! Wasn't that much weeks long enough! she didn't even dare to tell me!" My dad leaned back and rubbed my back, "Nic, she didn't have a choice!" He screamed back,
"Was i ever a choice?" I sobbed,

"You were! Then you weren't there anymore." it broke my heart- it confused my teenager mind and heart, i was broken since then, and she was the only one there.

"You know- even when she wasn't there anymore, she asked me to tell you that she loves you." I gulped, sniffing up my snot, thoughtenning up.

"You'll find each other again, if you love her aswell."

she'd always be the one to say i love you and i'd deny- now if she ever came back all i wanted to do is to tell her i loved her.

---

looking down the clouds of the sky- the sun was shining but i didnt feel light, my world was gloomy and dark.

i wonder if he even cared to ask his dad about it- either way i didn't know if he still cared or thought about me.

i thought i was practically useless to him, there was no point on staying anymore, now that he wasn't there.

i loved him, a part of me that loved him wanted me to stay- but i had no choice but to leave.

maybe it's better that way, that way he would find someone that wouldn't stop him.
it's his choice, not mine.

maybe it was wrong to blackmail or gaslight him, maybe it was right. Who knows it would lead to this? I couldn't stop sobbing and looking at the golden ring.

removing it after fidgeting it away from my ring finger, observing every detail, i noticed a small detail on the insides of the metal.

i love you too.