𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑: N.SHEFF

009

Time after time, David would send how are you messages- he cant seem to stop. After all i was their family friend.

i haven't heard of Nic for a long time, it's been a long long time since i've memorized his face.

I worked at a highschool where i fit in perfectly, i worked at an ice cream shop for a part time job so i could move away from my father and move back to californa.

i had a hide time hiding my money, it was either inside socks under my matress, or id bury them in the garden.

I'd stopped cutting myself because i don't even know if Nic still does Drugs or not- either way i didn't want to show my friends i was snobbing.

kurt had been busy aswell, with his girlfriend at work- they work at a movie theatre, selling people popcorn.

I'd been better off without nic- but it doesn't mean i don't miss him- There would be flash backs and visions of him, my beautiful boy.

There was something funny about me and nic- he loved drawing and sketching, and i'd write the meaning of it.

but i have none to see, so sometimes i'd waste paper tree's to write him poems that can't be sent from afar

--

June 21,

How we both carved our initials in that one tree,
i wish i'd carved it to me instead, becaude it would remind me of you.

but i remembered, if i hurt myself, you'd hurt yourself.

I hope you're mad at me,
i hope you're sad.
and i hope you knew what i meant by that.

i'll love you as long as the sky guides us to each other.

July 20,

Happiest aging, Nic.
i hope you're doing well.

i wish you'd remember me-
if you even cared.
remember what you said when we were younger?

you tood me you could wait for me for a day and stay still with patience, because if it meant leaving without me that would continue eternally.

i left you, but you didn't. But i hoped for you to wait for me.

--

I'd send over gifts for nic, telling David it had been from a distant cousin- maybe because i wanted to know if he ever told his dad about me.

He didn't. I wasn't sure anymore, but i knew i'd still cherish him anyways. I'd have unsent projects for him.

i could write a book about how he acts and his personality, his looks, every freckle on his face and his light eyes that pierced to me.

And i'd keep it, because that was my memorization of him, though i'd learned how to love other people, there's no one that would replace him, ever.

We were more than bestfriends but definetly less than lovers, and that's rare- for me atleast.

by the time my age hit eighteen, i had another job that paid higher, my savings were enough to buy a mansion, and a flight way back to californa.

Maybe, i'd continue collage there, escape my father.. leave kurt since he didn't live with us anymore.

i'd leave my father and step mother behind- and go to someone who really loved me as i loved him.