sect bound . aaron hotchner

1.4

Aaron Hotchner had asked Jessica to have Jack that night, he didn't want to overwhelm Annie when he brought her into his home. She was still barely able to meet his gaze and guilt was still constantly written over her face. That was why he couldn't sleep that night; his thoughts had been preoccupied by Annie's words from earlier that day. Each time he tried to close his eyes he would see the fear in her eyes as she rambled about a man that he knew nothing off. That sight of her entire body shaking would never leave Aaron's mind, it would be burnt into his memories until the day he died. Part of him was convinced that it would continue haunt him beyond the grave.

As he led, staring at the ceiling, he became aware of the buzz of the television in the living room. There was no surprise to him that she was still awake. If when he closed his eyes, he was seeing her at her worst, he didn't want to imagine the scenes she saw when she closed her eyes. A decade ago, he would have laughed at the idea of her being afraid of anything, but now he watched as she stumbled through sentences and flinched at the slightest sound. It broke him to imagine what she had gone through over the years she had been unobtainable. No knowing only let his mind wander and – if he had been less invested in her – he could have asked. However, Aaron didn't want to see her break the way she had earlier that morning.

As he heard the movement around the apartment, Aaron pushed himself from the bed and walked towards the living room. Seeing an empty sofa as he approached, he turned towards the kitchen smiling as he saw Annie leaning against the counter with a glass of water in her hands. His smile fell as he saw the bruises on her arms, earlier that day when she had arrived, they had been hidden by the clothes that now sat sealed in evidence bags on Aaron's desk. He had wanted to take her straight to the hospital, but she refused. They compromised and Annie agreed not to show until the following day when they had had chance to collect any evidence from her that they could find.

Aaron didn't want to think about the places he had seen before. He didn't want to remember the statistics he knew about individuals in long term captivity, he just wanted to be grateful his friend was home. There were very few times he had wished he wasn't a profiler, but Annie being stood before him was one of those moments.

"Are they going to put someone else in charge?" Annie questioned, watching as the man pulled his eyes away from her. "Or will they let you work it?"

He nodded his head, "I need to speak to Strauss, but no one would be more motivated than me and my team."

"So, you're going to have to know everything?"

He nodded again, "Annie, nothing you say will make me not want to help you."

There was silence, he could see her eyes fleeting around the room as she tried to configure her words. He knew her and he knew she would never want to offend anyone by wording things incorrectly. Watching her let out a sigh, he knew that she was struggling to understand where he was coming from. But she knew much more than he did; she didn't know that his concern was unconditional.

"You knew me a long time again Aaron." Annie explained. "A lot has changed since then; I've changed since then."

"Where were you?"

"Iowa."

He sighed, "Anything more specific?"

"You wouldn't understand." Annie snapped, crossing back towards the living room. "You were getting ready to live the rest of your life and I had lost everyone I loved. It was easy to get me believe in him."

"Believe in who?" Aaron followed her.

She looked back at him, silent for a second as she contemplated telling him, "Gabriel Martyr. I don't think it was his real name, but it's what he introduced himself as."

"Annie-"

"I know I should have been able to see the signs," Annie interrupted, trying to defend herself against non-existent threats and judgement. "But when he spoke, I wasn't the woman specialising in religious manipulation, I was the girl whose entire family had been killed while she was drinking milkshake and missing curfew."

Aaron wanted to assure her that she was more than that, but he remained silent and let her continue, "I thought it would be good to be around people like me and get back in touch with my faith at the same time. A few months away from reality felt really appealing."

"A few months turned into a decade Annie." Aaron countered. "I didn't realise you were struggling; you should have said something."

"And ruin your wedding?" She scoffed. "Haley was already less than impressed you'd chosen me as your best man, I can't imagine how she would have reacted if I'd turned up on your doorstep asking for help in the weeks leading up to the wedding."

"She would have understood."

"No, she wouldn't." Annie corrected, guilt filling her as she watched his face fall. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to talk bad about her, you loved her, and I respected that."

"What happened when you went with him?" Aaron queried changing the subject.

"There weren't many people who I got there, people seemed to move in and out freely. He began to let me lead services and it felt amazing, everything I had been struggling with I was helping other people get through." She explained, not once meeting his eye. "I wanted to call you and Liam, let you know I was okay, but that was when I realised that he wasn't who he said he was. If I mentioned anything beyond the church he would snap, but in the same breath he would say I was special."

"How so?"

"He'd say I was like him." She whispered, finally meeting his gaze as her heart started beating. "I wasn't like him. I can't be like him Aaron."

Forgetting everything he was supposed to follow during conversations like this, Aaron closed the space between them and held her tightly in his arms, "You don't need to say anything else, not now."