My salvation

Chapter 2

A 10-year-old is hunched over in a corner, crossing her arms in front of her face, trying to protect her face from her mother’s hits. the mother, Latifa, wasn’t always like this. After her husband, Magdy, died in an accident nine months ago, she let the grief, the pain, and the stress overcome her. She loved her daughter and would never even shout at her but after the accident, she became another person. She lost her friends because of how she treated them. They tried to be there for her but she pushed them away and started treating them in the worst way possible. They endured at first and blamed it the grief and the heartbreak for her new attitude but, we all have a limit, don’t we? We are all humans after all. And after the accident, she started shouting at her daughter, Zeina, then started the name calling and then the hitting. What really hurts Zeina the most though is the blame. Latifa blames Zeina for Magdy’s death because if Zeina hadn’t jumped in front of the car to save the little kitten that was about to be hit by the car, Magdy wouldn’t have jumped in to save Zeina. Magdy wouldn’t have died.

Zeina misses her dad. He would have protected her from her mother. And, if he hadn’t died for her, he would be her and none of this abuse would be happening. The only reason Zeina hadn’t killed herself is because of her dad. A while ago, her mother told her to kill herself. Zeina thought about it and decided to do it. Because she too blamed herself for her father’s death. While her mother was asleep, she brought a chair to the balcony and was about to jump when suddenly, she felt dizzy and fell unconscious.

By the time she woke up, it was morning. She opened her eyes to find the rays of sun shining down at her. She looked down at her and was confused at first as to why she was in the balcony instead of sleeping in her bed. Slowly, she started to remember what happened and what she was about to do. She decided to try again. She got up, stood on the chair and was about to jump when suddenly, a question came to her mind. “Why did I fall unconscious?”
She thought about it for a moment. She looked up at the sky and after a minute of thinking, she remembered a conversation she had with her father the night before the accident.

Start of flashback.
Magdy was sitting on the couch, smiling and sometimes laughing while going through a photo album. Zeina on the other hand was sitting at the chair, looking at him with both anger and confusion. She doesn’t understand why her father is smiling and laughing. “Shouldn’t he be sad? His parents just died today. What is wrong with him. Did he become crazy?”, she thought to herself. Her father continued smiling and laughing. Both her anger and her confusion increased. She couldn’t handle it anymore. She decided to confront him. “Dad!! How could you?! How could you smile and laugh as if everything is okay?! Grandpa and grandma, your parents, died three days ago! They loved us so much! And they were really nice! How could you hate them?!”, shouted Zeina at her father with tears running down her face. Magdy was surprised for a second. He then smiled, got up, walked to her daughter and crouched in front of her. He wiped her tears away with his hands, held her face in his hands, kissed her under her eyes and said, “My sweet, sweet princess. I don’t hate grandpa and grandma. I loved them with all my heart and I always will. The reason I’m smiling and laughing is because this photo album holds so much fond memories of us together. I’m laughing and smiling because I have all these memories of them. And of course I miss them. I miss them so much. But, I know this is not the end. It’s true that when we die, our life journey ends but you also need to remember that after death, comes another journey. The afterlife journey. I’m hoping to see them there and to make new memories with them. I’m hoping to be with them again but this time in heaven. This hope is what keeps me going. This is why I’m smiling and laughing even though I miss them beyond belief. You also need to remember that Allah is always watching over us and sometimes when something bad happens we get sad and that’s okay but we  also need to remember that only Allah knows what’s best for us”. Zeina looked at her father with huge eyes and said, “So, you mean we can see grandpa and grandma again?”. “In shaa Allah we can.”, said Magdy. Zeina smiled and said, “I’m sorry I shouted at you.”. Magdy hugged her and said, “It’s okay. I forgive you. Now, how about we pray and ask Allah to reunite us with grandpa and grandma in heaven?”. “Okay.”, said Zeina cheerfully.
End of flashback.

Tears started flowing from Zeina’s eyes. “Allah. You saved me. Thank you. I won’t try to do this again. Please forgive me. I love you so much.”, said Zeina and then she prostrated and started thanking Allah.