Twisted (Julien baker fanfic)

Chapter 2- Result II

~*~TW: Mature Language, Abusive topics, homophobia and substance abuse~*~
PLEASE DON'T READ IF ITS A SENSITIVE TOPIC! take care of yourself❤️

As soon as the call had disconnected my AirPods continued playing "We're in Love" by boygenius. I know my cousin is a member of the band but she's such a talented singer. I always manage to cry to this song. In the corner of my eye are my parents , sat separately on the yellow sofa that faces the tv. The Tv, being illuminated by some rubbish show is facing directly at me. It's placed in the corner where the two windowed walls meet.

I bring up the courage to walk over to them and sit on the black beanbag which has a carelessly placed  vintage knitted throw covering it.The smell of tobacco filled the room as a previously lit cigarette layed on a small ceramic ash tray, smoke leaving my mums mouth.I've never liked the smell of tobacco, it's an overriding scent that reminds me of my mum.someone who i don't want to remember.
"you okay sweetie? what did you want to tell us?" my dad asked. My heart was pounding out of my chest like the secret was trying to beat its way out of my body. "yeah i guess , i don't know it's taking me a lot of courage to come forward about this and i'm just scared"

"well what is it." my mum replied bluntly but her voice thickened as she inhaled the smoke from her cigarette. I felt my mums stare burn my skin, i've never felt like my mum was a caring mum and i've never seen her as someone i can run to when i'm down like all my friends can. She rather intimidates me, she is just a stranger i share a house with. I don't tell her anything: she doesn't know i smoke, she doesn't know i've done drug$, she doesn't even know who my best friend is and it's tearing me apart.

"I'm a lesbian" . In that moment the world froze. My AirPods almost knowing the situation played "family" by palace in my ear. I looked up after being under the blanket for a moment trying to let things settle in their mind. Their daughter likes girls. Im scared that i'm not the girl they wanted me to be.

"awh hunny !! i'm so proud of you , you should've told us earlier we lov-"

"get out of my house now." my mum muttered

"huh?" my heart dropped what felt like into my stomach.

"get out of my house now!! get your shit together and go. i don't care where as long as you aren't under MY roof i don't care what happens to you Camila!!. Get Jesus in your life, you are not my daughter" screamed my mum as she took another drag of her cigarette. My dad looked at her with utter disgust and looked back at me to see my eyes forming tears.

"You know what i will. You can tell me to "get Jesus" but why are you so dependent on a book that was written DECADES ago!? you're seriously going to let a book get in the way of how you love your own children. i feel bad for myself that i have to even call you my mum." She glared at me and didn't say a word until i went upstairs to my room.
As i was walking up the top of the landing , i saw John stood at his bedroom door in pure disbelief of what he had just previously heard. Tears rolled down his cheek. I slumped into the wall and placed my hands in front of my face, i can't wrap my head around what my own mum just told me. But she's right i'm not the daughter she ever wanted.

A warm embrace came not short after . Of course i knew it was John. I hugged him reassuring him we are going to be okay but in reality i didn't know if we were going to be okay. I knew i had to do what lucy told me and the thought of being miles away from him made me well up even more than i already was. He's so young to be going through what he does.

"Hey hey hey(i held his face in my hands and wiped his tears away) we are going to be fine John. I'm going to go and move in with a lucy and the boys , i'll be happier and it'll be for the better. Plus you won't have to fight with me over the bathroom" i add to try and lighten up the mood but he didn't laugh. "You'll have dad and all of your basketball friends to rant to but i'll always be a call away" I plant a light kiss on his head as i wrap him up in a hug. A little bit over a minute passes by and he's still crying in my arms. God this is going to suck. I release his hug and shake his shoulders reassuringly and make my way into my room.

My Airpod's were the only thing keeping me sane in the moment of time "that funny feeling" by Bo Burnham plays in my ears. I definitely felt that funny feeling, as i got my old rugged suitcase out from above my wardrobe and i blew the dust away. The song slowly drifted off "hey what can you say we were overdue but it'll be over soon just wait do do do".

As i carry on packing my childhood up all in a suitcase i remember i needed to ring Lucy. I picked up my phone which was cased in a boy genius themed phone case. The clock read 10:35pm , it had been a solid three hours of crying and trying to get my stuff together. my mum gave me yet another lecture and threatened me that if i'm not out the house by midnight i'll regret it. I didn't want to call her at first until my phone rang and it was her.

Composing myself i try to put a front up so she couldn't tell i had been crying for a long duration of time.

LUCY
"cam!? are you okay john messaged me and told me everything.."

CAMILA
"did he really? yeah i'm okay lucy i guess i have to be i just i don't know anymore i'm very very lost and feel like everything's just crumbling down on me."

LUCY
"Oh cam you're going to get through this and me and the boys are going to be by your side through thick and thin i can assure you. Also Julien and Phoebe are both so excited to meet you! and unfortunately by the sounds of it they'll be meeting you tonight."

CAMILA
"Lucy.. it's okay. I'll find a motel or something to stay at for the night and i'll try to figure something out. i can't have you drive all the way to Delaware from California that's across the whole bloomin country!"

LUCY
"I'm willing to do it for you cam tho, i'm not having you staying there for any longer than you need to. Did your mum say anything about having some time or does she want you out asap"

CAMILA
"to be honest with you lucy i couldn't even tell you what's just happened. she said she doesn't care where i go but as long as i'm out of the house she doesn't care and she always told me that i need jesus in my life.."

LUCY          
"WHAT A BITCH, not that jesus is wrong but the nerve. I'm coming now, get your stuff together and just wait. Tell your dad just incase your mum decides to kick you out now i don't want you waiting outside in the cold"

CAMILA
"thanks luce, i'll go tell him now."

LUCY
"you go and do that i'm already in the car on the way there now ,  i will speed if i have too hahaha i love you see you soon. mwah"

CAMILA
"yeah see you soon, please don't speed i kinda need you right now. love you too mwah bye"

The call then ends again and the silence rings in my ear. I look around my room: tapestry's painted everywhere i look, posters of my favourite artists like Billie Eilish, Kings Of Leon, Boy Genius, Paramore, MUNA, Chappell Roan. Debating, i grab another backpack and unpin every tapestry that have been loosely sprung onto my ceiling. Although it'll be hard bringing things from my childhood home into a completely new environment and the bad memories will come with me it'll still be nice for things to change. i can replace the bad with new good.

i just hope she won't follow along.

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AUTHORS NOTE

dun dun dunn!!!! thought i'd leave this chapter on a-bit of a cliffhanger. I'm not going to spend much more time on the whole process of camila getting kicked out as it is dragging on abit and i don't want you all to loose interest! however i'm thinking of making a playlist on my spotify for the car ride so you can all listen to it whilst reading the next few chapters as she starts her new life❤️
(12/4/24) (4:32pm) 1559 words
~MD