The Start of Something New

Chapter 9

Wouldn't it be nice

To play the game without a crooked die

In a world where you don't have to hide

You don't have to live in a disguise

That phrase rang through my head as I looked at my mask. I won't have to live with this anymore. I'll be able to tear off the fake skin I've built myself.

With my kittens on my lap I picked up the phone and called him to let him know my decision.

~~~

The room was full of people with various backgrounds. All of them are more experienced than I. I watched as one of the women bent herself in unimaginable ways. Another was in a corner doing vocal exercises. Everyone seemed more prepared than I was. I chose my song last minute and I don't know what I was going to do for a routine.

As the group trickled down in size I put on my secondary mask and stretched out my joints. I got a couple weird looks thrown my way when I put it on, but I'm not here to impress them. I'm here to impress the judges. Their opinions do not matter to me.

When my name was called I walked through the door and onto the chopping block. The light glared in my eyes and reflected off the floorboards on the stage.

They cannot see me, they see what I want them to see.

I started with my back to them. The less contact I have with them the better.

When the opening notes to The death of peace of mind I threw my body into the music. I forgot where I was all I felt was the music, the desperation, and realization that coated the lyrics. My body, mind, and soul went numb as I performed for the vultures behind the white desk. I was just a piece of meat for their picking.

I was out of breath and my lungs hurt from the exertion. I haven't done something like that in forever.

The man in the middle looked me up and down. A butcher looking for the perfect cut. "That was good. Could we give you something else to try?"

I nodded my head. He gave a gesture to the audio tech and they ran another song. Oh No. I knew this song with my heart and got into position.

I slowly walked across the stage and centered myself in front of them.

I felt confident. I felt the adrenaline course through my veins. I knew that I could do this.

Only one judge's face changed. She sat on the farthest right of the table and I watched as her jaw slackened.

Don't call it a party cause it never stops

Now one is too many, but it's never enough

Don't tell me your happy cause this isn't love

So be careful what you wish for

I bowed at the closing chord to the song.

"Thank you for your time. Now please exit the stage to your right." His face was emotionless and I felt rage enter my veins. I set my body and walked off the stage. It will do me no good to fight them now.

One of the ladies was in tears when I walked into the room.

"I thought I had everything perfect," She wailed. "I thought I was going to get my spot for sure."

"Everybody has their faults." One lady said, carefully patting her shoulder. "Everyone has fallen off the stage once in their life."

I had to hide the smile on my face. A guy sat next to me.

"I'm Forrest." He held his hand out for me to shake. I obliged. "How do you think your audition went?"

"We'll see. I was watching their faces for the majority of the time and only one of theirs changed. It wasn't much, but it was something." I stretched my back and heard it pop. "That felt good. How do you think yours went?"

"I'm not quite so sure either. The only inkling I had was one of them rolled their eyes at my song choice."

"Which was?" I prodded. Anything to pass the time.

"Call Me Little Sunshine by Ghost." He grinned.

I had to quench the laughter building in my chest. "You either irritate them or baffle them with your bullshit. I don't know which one, but that is definitely a choice."

"What'd you choose? Let me guess, Taylor Swift, or maybe Halestorm. I think you've got both sides in you."

"Something opposite, very opposite, actually. The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omens and then they had me do a second song which was Oh No by Bring Me The Horizon."

He looked at me with surprise. "So you're neither. You're more screaming and angry than sex and country."

"I'm not against the country, I'm just against Taylor Swift. Halestorm is for angry bad bitches. That's just my two pieces."

"Can't say you're wrong though. They have some pretty, uh, explicit songs."

I laughed softly. "Yeah, they do." I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I felt the air shift as Forrest walked away.

People filtered into the room as auditions were coming to an end. Some of them were in tears and others walked in with their heads held high. I wish I had their confidence.

We were called back out on stage some time later. We trickled out of the room and lined up on stage in order of our audition number. I was number 27. There were a total of 40 people.

I watched as more than half of the people in front of me were dismissed with no promises of a callback. I steeled my nerves when they came to me. I reminded myself that even if I don't get the position I will not be hurt by it.

The man in the middle stared me down like predator to prey. "Take off your mask. I wanna see the look on your face when I give you your results."

I unclasped my mask and carefully peeled it off my face. I heard gasps from the people beside me.

He was taken aback. "You're a chick."

"Yes. Yes I am." I was conscious of everyone's stares on my scars. I wanted to cover them, but that will only show weakness.

He cleared his throat and shuffled papers on the table. "So tell me, how do you sing like a man?"

"I don't. I mimic sounds I hear. If I hear something often enough I can copy it to a tee."

One of the ladies leaned forward. "I will say though, your voice is powerful. It shouldn't be laid to waste."

The others nodded in agreement. "That's why we are happy to inform you of a guaranteed position if you can show that you can perform a variety of music and not just whatever that genre was."

I nodded my head and let my body relax a little. "Thank you."