This is not a poem, and its not for a friend. Its for me. I want to write stuff and just get it off my shoulders.
Last night I watched the DUFF which inspired me to rediscover myself, and just not let anyone take advantage of me anymore, because im just tired of it. Everyone see's me as the nice girl, there to help everyone , while in return no one does it for me. I feel like I would be the DUFF to all of my friends because im the person they always goes to get advice about someone from me. A lot of my friends tell me that not fat and im super pretty, but I just don't see it. When I look at myself in the mirror I just see someone that I am ashamed of, and doesn't deserve to be here. Im tired of people just using me, and making me feel more special than I actually am to them. I just wish that all those people that come to me for advice would help me out too. Because I struggle so much in life because i really don't think I trust anyone, and If I do they always stab me in the back. And the one person I trusted the most I possibly lost their friendship. and im pissed off at myself for letting that happen. Because he was special to me, it was the greatest friend I could have ever asked for, and I ruined it by getting in a fight with him over texting. stupid texting is how I lost my best friend. Maybe I shouldn't have told him what he really meant to me three days prior to that fight and I really wish I never did because its quite clear that he never felt the same. all he saw me was that lil junior that he could go to talk to, or as a lil sister I guess. I don't know, all I know is im never going to make the same mistake again. im never telling anyone how I feel anymore, id rather regret not telling them, than having to regret telling them when it blows up in my face. so I feel like ill be posting more stuff like this more often, because it helps me reassure myself. lets me be me. because i don't want to keep everything inside anymore. its pulling me into depression by keeping everything inside. so I am now deciding to write my worst moment out. I deserve to be happy and this is whats gonna help me be happy.
(^_^) Sam :)
