Pimp Daddy

Chapter 3:

A:N// THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I FINALLY UPDATED AND ITS BEEN LIKE 80 YEARS. YAY! Warning this is an old and very rough, rough draft I made so yeah.. I wasn't even planning to post this but why not! Enjoy!

3 Years Later...

I smoothed my thick mustache with one hand, pursing my lips in the process as I pushed the trashcan through the offices, the wheels jamming a bit once in a while causing the large bin to jerk to a halt until I gave a bit more force to push it through.

I made sure to give curt nods and flash pleasant smiles everytime I passed someone's cubicle, bringing my janitor name tag to my mouth and fanning it with my breath before wiping it onto my denim uniform.

My eyes lingered over to Cindy Carmichael's cubicle, girl says she's on a diet but I distinctively see an abandoned crumpled Burger King's wrapper at the bottom of her workspace.

I feel your pain girl.

I made sure to slow my pace when Chad Danican walked out of his workspace and into the hallway in front of me, my smile growing as I mentally squealed, admiring his perfectly styled dirty blonde hair and back muscles from under his work clothes.

I bit my lip and let my eyes slowly travel down to his firm butt.

Oh Chad, handsome, smart, and the boy's clearly got some booty.

I cleared my throat before quickly dipping my right arm down, giving his butt a nice smack making him let out a startled feminine scream as he jumped into the air, fumbeling with the papers in his hands as he gave me a look between bewilderment and fear.

I tried to hold back my snicker as I winked at Chad, seeing him shudder involuntarily at my flirty gesture.

I rubbed my pertruding pot belly before letting out a content sigh and continuing forward down the hallway into a meeting room.

I smiled when I saw Mark, my best friend sitting down at the long black ebony conference table inside, the rest of the black leather seats still empty as he shuffled a few papers in his hands.

"S'cuse me Mister. Don't mean to interrupt but uh, do you know where the forensics room is?" I said in a deep baritone voice, leaning my elbow onto the table as I peered down at the guy.

"Yeah man, just take the elevator down a few floors and-"

I leaned closer to him, interrupting him mid sentence as Mark gave me a cautious look, scootching back to distance himself from me.

"Psstt, Mark, it's me." I whispered in my normal voice, a mischevious smile growing over my face as his eyes widened in shock.

"Holy- Jane!? You look, you look..." He sputtered out, his eyes raking over my semi bald head then to my thick mustache and down to my hairy forearms and bulging belly.

"What the fuck happened to you Jane? You look like you just went through a Duck Dynasty transformation god, you look like you got a dick!" Mark exclaimed, still trying to soak in my new appearance.

"I know right! Isn't it great!" I squealed, gripping his arms.

"Ew stop you look greasy as hell..." He squirmed as he swatted at my hairy bear hands.

"Why are you even dressed like that? Why are you....." His words trailed off from his lips before it finally hit him.

It's almost as if his tush was set on fire the moment he realized my plan, he jumped a bit in his seat, his eyes wide as he quickly shot a cautious glance behind him to make sure no one was entering the room.