puck off ☆ c. sturniolo

11 Estella

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Do I really have to go to the party with you?" I ask Sam, sitting on her bed as she's shuffling through her closet, looking for a dress I could wear.

Chris' hockey team had won their last game by a lot, and of course it was the first game of the season I had missed. So naturally, Chris' frat was throwing a party to celebrate.

"Levi is going with Nick, and I don't really know where Matt and I stand right now so I need some moral support." Sam explained, making me frown.

"Why are you and Matt so back and forth?" I ask her, and she turns to face me with a serious expression on her face.

"We're in love, but we don't know how to always make it work. I know at the end of the day, he loves me, and I hope he knows I love him." She speaks softly, her eyes watering, "We'll figure it out someday, I hope." She carries on, turning back to the closet to bring out a dark red dress.

"Is all of the pain really worth it?" I quietly ask her, and I can't help but think about Chris. She passes me the dress and I reluctantly take it.

"Love makes you do crazy things." She responds, pulling out a dark green dress. We get dressed in silence, each of us helping the other zip up our dresses. We slip on some heels and grab our bags and walk out the door. Once we're outside I grab Sam's hand making her look at me.

"I'm always here for you Sam. I may not be a huge fan of this whole love thing but I just want you to know I'll always be by your side the second you need me." I tell her, and she immediately yanks me into a hug.

"Thank you, Ella." She whispers into the hug, making me grin at the nickname I haven't heard in a while. Levi and Sam had gotten drunk one night and spent an hour telling me how much they loved and cared about me, and Levi had tried to say my name and it came out as Ella. Everyonce in a while it gets brought up and I can't help but reminisce on that time period of my life.

Being a freshman, none of us were tainted by guys, and truly being our happiest selves.

We resume our walk and reach the frat house before I know it. I hadn't seen Chris in a couple days, only talking through texts. I don't even know if he knew I was coming tonight, or if he'd even want to see me. We walk in and we immediately see Nick and Levi hanging all over each other in the living room, it brings a smile to my face.

"I'm so glad they have each other." I tell Sam, nodding towards them, making her nod in agreement. We were just chilling in the living room when suddenly Matt approached us.

"Samantha." He greets Sam, making her flush and look up at him.

"Matthew." She replies, and I nearly threw up all over the both of them. They were so cheesy.

"Can we talk?" He asks, glancing at me before looking back at Sam.

"It's fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted." I tease them, looking around before turning back to Sam, "Do you want a drink?" I ask her, to which she shakes her head no.

I shrug and make my way towards the kitchen. It was so crowded in here, I had to shove my way through several people to get through to the island that held all of the alcohol that was going to keep me entertained for the night.

Looking around, I spot Chris. He was mixing up a drink, and from what was closest to him it looked like a strawberry daiquiri. Something he never drinks himself. I look around him and my heart falls to my ass, that same fucking blonde girl from they hockey arena was standing behind him. She had her hand on his arm as she watched him make the drink.

Chris must've felt my stare, because he looked up and caught my eyes. He stared for a second before he completely ignored me and turned to the girl and handed her the drink he just made her. I watch them for a minute before I start to get the feeling of wanting to either cry or scream. I pick up the closest bottle of alcohol to me, which happens to be vodka, and I quickly leave the kitchen.

This backyard is starting to become my go to place whenever Chris upsets me at a party it seems like. I make my way towards the two chairs that are further back than the rest of the outdoor decor, and plop down and settle in for the night. I unscrewed the lid to the vodka and took a long swig, cringing as my throat felt like it was on fire.

My mind wanders to Chris of course, and it just pisses me off more. Why am I not good enough for him? Why do I always seem to read more into what's actually there? I need to find someone that'll treat me the way I need to be treated. Getting over Chris seems nearly impossible, and I can't help but think of Lucas.

I wonder where we'd be right now had Chris just fucking left me alone. Would we be dating? Would I be happier? Of course I'd be happier, Lucas never once showed that he was playing with my emotions like Chris does. I keep taking sips of the vodka, getting drunker and drunker. I should probably find Sam and try to go home, but I can't physically bring myself to stand up to actually go find her.

I should go before Chris tries to come and find me.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

authors note .ᐣ.ᐟ
next chapter is gonna be soooo long 🤞🏻