puck off ☆ c. sturniolo

14 Estella

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I couldn't even remember the last time I saw Chris, and it's starting to make my heart hurt more and more as time passes. I've strictly been going to classes then back to my dorm, which sucks. I'm so embarrassed about the whole Chris situation, I'm forfeiting my social life for the off chance I'd run into him.

Around a week after going no contact, every morning I'd open the door to find different gifts left behind. Either a coffee, my favorite breakfast burrito, a book I mentioned wanting, or even flowers. It started to piss me off, because how the hell is he going to pay this much attention to me but not be willing to at least admit he liked me back?

Then he started trying to talk to me, knowing I wouldn't open up for him. He showed up to my dorm only a few times, but I ignored everything he had said through the door. I blocked his number so there was no other way to talk to me than in person, and I'm pretty proud of myself for holding my ground this time.

No matter how much it broke me.

"Baby please." Chris pleaded through the door, he had been trying to talk to me for 15 minutes now, and I sat and leaned against it. I felt pressure on the other side, Chris had also sat down.

"I know you think you want me to be your boyfriend, but Stella I can't." He continues, and it feels like he just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it, "You wouldn't be happy with me like you think. I know I would fuck it up somehow and I don't want to risk losing you." He softly speaks as I feel a singular tear fall from my eye.

"You've already lost me." I whisper to myself, bringing my hand to my mouth to smother my sobs as I hear him begin to sniffle on the other side of the door. The only time I can tell he truly cares about me is when we're in the middle of a fight, and our last one at that.

"I miss you. I miss everything about you Stella." Chris clears his throat, speaking a little louder, "I miss the way your nose scrunches when you're trying to see something better because you refuse to wear your glasses." He laughs a little at that and I do too. My glasses were my worst enemy.

"I miss the way you cover your mouth when you eat because you don't like the way you look when you chew, even though I think you look adorable. I miss the way you punch the shit out of my pillow because the germs' party is too loud. Remember how hard I laughed when that happened the first time?" My hands itch to open the door, but my body is physically glued to the floor.

Chris lets out a heavy sigh, "I feel like a crazy person talking to myself, can you just let me in?" He asks, knocking on the door slightly. I take that as my cue to find the strength to walk away from the door. I do just that, not looking back once.

The one good thing about me removing Chris from my life is the fact I'm really close with Nick and Levi now. The three of us are almost always together, with Sam joining us when she's not busy herself. I haven't been able to stomach the idea of going to Nick's frat house in fear of seeing Chris, until tonight.

Levi was going home for the weekend and Nick wasn't going, as it was far too early to meet the parents, so Nick begged me to stay over at his place. If he didn't sway me with McDonald's and the fact his bed is so comfy, I would've never agreed.