a totally dramatic chatfic

wake up and smell the lesbian

helloooooo sorry i disappeared i have risen from the dead and i hope this chapter is worth the wait hehehehehhee

courtney > heather
4:31 PM

courtney
> Heather. I'd like to have a conversation with you without anybody else interjecting.

heather
> can i add cody

courtney
> Did you even read my message?

heather
> cody doesn't count he's not a person

courtney
> Yes, he does, and no you may not.

heather
> is there a reason you're messaging me instead of talking to me in person when we are quite literally in the same room right now
> and u should know i don't like u enough to talk to u one on one for longer than thirty seconds
> are u drunk? is that an alcoholic beverage ur drinking over there

courtney
> This is why I've chosen to speak to you. Because you care about my feelings so little, you can give me an honest opinion.
> And I don't know what this is, I got it from Bridgette

heather
> yes the bangs make you look like a de-yassified freddie mercury
> yes you should throw that blouse away it looks like a deconstructed tablecloth

courtney
> Stop there.

heather
> why?
> i'm having fun and there's still so much to say

courtney
> Because I want to talk to you.
> This is exactly what I mean about the honesty, by the way

heather
> so what do you want then
> and it better be good because i paused my show

courtney
> Oh just forget it. Why did I choose to talk to you?

heather
> honest opinion remember

courtney
> Leshawna could give me that, without being immature.

heather
> now i'm bored
> spill
> what terrible thing has happened that means you feel the need to message your borderline arch-enemy

courtney
> Um.
> So.
> I might like someone

heather
> did you actually just text me to talk about your crush are we twelve
> no you should not ask out duncan you will die miserable

courtney
> It's not Duncan
> It's actually someone else

heather
> i thought u guys were soulmates once upon a time
> because anyone who willingly put up with u had to be ur soulmate
> btw i used to call him your soul-sucking mate but then i realised you have no soul

courtney
> I didn't ask you to insult me
> Could we talk about my problem now?

heather
> ok who's your crush
> what's his name
> i was about to make a gay joke and say 'her' so u should applaud my self-restraint

courtney
> Oh. You see...
> It actually is a her.

heather
> I FUCKING KNEW IT
> i'm sorry i tried i only have so much self restraint

courtney
> You're the first person I've told that I like girls so I'd really appreciate it if you kept this private.

heather
> court i may not like you but
> i have no intention of telling anyone this is your business
> even though ive been saying it out loud to everyone for the past two years