Thulir's POV
5 years ..... it's been 5 years since I saw both of them....one ran away leaving all behind and I am running away from one....
It seems he has grown tired of pursuing me. It's been a month since I last received a message from Agathiyan. His messages remain with just read, nothing more. Despite my never answering, he still calls me once a week, hoping I'll pick up by mistake and he would get to hear my voice, but I never have.
I've lost track of how many times I've read the same message he sent that one last time and that was the longest one he ever sent me.
"I hope you're doing well.
I'm missing you terribly. Please, just tell me to my face if you dislike or hate me, I will try to accept that we were never meant to be. Just don't prolong this endless suffering with your silence. I know you're reading this, yet you choose not to respond...
Before that day, even just before I confessed, I believed that revealing my feelings would lift the impatient burden of concealing them and pretending as if I didn't care for you at all...
but never thought that would make you silent...
My angry bird chatterbox, Theeni, is manageable, at least I know how to handle her. But this silent Thulir, I didn't even know she existed before... and it's pure torture. If it's because of my confession, then please forgive me for loving you. Just don't resent me for it or punish me in this manner... because loving you has been the best thing I've ever done in my life after getting Aadhavan as my brother.
There was a time when I was the happiest person because I had both of you in my life. Now, I don't know where he is, and I can't even attempt to find him because Magi Paa is blocking every effort I make to locate Aadhavan, angry at him for leaving over such a trivial matter...
Even I am angry at him for leaving like that.....I don't know what made him take that decision but leaving is not the right decision right....
my bad...See I am asking you knowing very well that you won't reply.....Still, you will read right I think that's enough for me....At least you are there to listen to me.....It's not like I didn't have a whole family who loves me dearly and will listen to my sorrows and console me, but I can't go to them and express my sorrows knowing they are going through the same ....I can't weaken them...They deserve happiness...
I can hardly remember the last time I truly smiled and laughed; it seems that day is the end of my peace. To escape my sorrows, I threw myself into work, becoming so engrossed that I earned the reputation of being a strict and workaholic police officer.
here everything reminds me of you.... sometimes I used to rant a lot with him, and he just listens to it and sometimes says solution most of the time he will sleep still humming to my rants...
I am missing him too...I am missing us.....
If I am at fault in any way, please choose a punishment other than this silence.
You might wonder why I'm sending such a lengthy message unexpectedly... it's because I'm involved in a serious case, and I'm not sure when I'll have another opportunity to express all of this to you.
I didn't have the courage to call only to face rejection again, perhaps I've had enough of that...I have decided not to call you hoping you would mistakenly pick up the call and say hello and I would finally will get to hear your voice......also calling his number which has been switched off for the past 5 years hoping one day he would switch it on and taunt me for calling him multiple times like he used to be.....
This will be the last message I am sending you so I am just pouring whatever I can type ....and if you can please forgive me for loving you......
Good night...........Bye"
I couldn't take it anymore... I threw the phone, and it broke into pieces... These uncontrollable tears are not helping me to vent all my pain and sorrow as they should.
I looked around the room, cluttered with broken items, it was a complete mess, mirroring the even greater disarray of my life.
I laughed at myself... My family might think I'm pursuing my PhD peacefully here and hope that I'm fine... but I wonder what their reaction would be if they saw me like this... no, no, no, no...
I slapped myself to regain composure, attempted to stand, stumbled back, and fell to the floor with a sprained ankle.
the pain in my ankle seems less compared to what I am going through.... why it is like this.... why I am like this....I am tired of acting like I am fine when I am slowly breaking inside.
I couldn't accept him neither could bare see him giving up on us .... even in this message he mentions Aadhavan...how would he react if he gets to know its because of me he left ....how can I tell him that I rejected his brother's love.....
Why didn't I realize when he said he was leaving... why didn't I stop him... why couldn't I just accept him that day... it might not have been this complicated then...
why Agathiyan admitted his love that day.....I should be in cloud nine knowing he loves me too....but that didn't happen....I thought I need time to recover from that day's events but the next day realized I can never recover from it knowing that Aadhavan left....
I couldn't muster the courage to face Agathiyan after that day. I began to avoid him, and I used my studies as an excuse to stay away from my family, so as not to burden them with my pain and distress...its really tough to hide anything from them mostly I don't call them when I can't handle my emotions...
how can I even accept Agathiyan ...is it won't look like I am being so selfish...after hurting and causing his brother to leave and end up romancing with him feels betrayal....and I don't want to be that person...
About Aadhavan....
Perimama strictly warned us not to pursue him, he left on his own and must return by himself—no one should beg for his return. I can empathize with his pain. He has always been an exemplary father to Aadhavan, standing by him, never allowing anyone to demean his son, and defending him since the day they were destined to share a father-son bond.
And Tisya atthai...She withstood years of suffering and often remarks that enduring such a dreadful phase was worth it, as having Aadhavan as her son was the ultimate reward for her perseverance.
when he left them just like that for such dispute that to for others words the reason according to them was pointless and silly....
I am aware of the truth... it was me... I was the one who caused him pain... I am the source of everyone's suffering here... I am subjecting myself to suffering for something that isn't my fault.
May be it's my Fault......
Author's note
Hello people...
How was the chapter...
I know its short and I again I didn't keep my words of updating only after the target....
Anyway...
Happy Reading 📖📖📖📖📖
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
