People of Starbucks

The Ugly Monster

Terry comes in with some of her friends once in awhile. They are all in high school and seem like a good bunch of kids. They come in and order some fancy cold coffee and sit down talk about whatever it is kids talk about these days. They aren't as loud as some other groups of high school kids I have seen at Starbucks but they are lively. All except for Terry. She is more serious than the rest.

Terry is cute and a little tomboyish. She doesn't wear as much make up as the other girls in the group and never carries a purse or girls wallet. She's thin and has long straight blondish hair that she usually wears in a pony tail. She wears the same tennis shoes each time and alternates between 2 different pairs of jeans and several t-shirts that she likes to wear.

When they come in and get in line to order they all pretty much already know what they are going to drink. They order right away and pull out their cash or credit cards and pay for their drinks. Terry stands back though, looking up at the menu and feigning an inability to choose a drink. When everyone has ordered and sat down she then orders, and unlike everyone else, she always pays in coins. She doesn't count them out though. She has the exact change for the same drink she buys each time. She just reaches into her pocket and hands it over to the barista in one swift move so the others won't see.

None of the kids seem to come from rich families. They don't wear overly expensive clothes or jewelry. They all seem very content though, except for Terry. She isn't sad, but she isn't happy either. She seems like she is just getting by.

From the way Terry pays for drink I can tell that the shortage of money is new to her. Best guess would be that one or both of her parents lost their job, though it is more likely that there is less money because of a divorce. She's not depressed, not yet at least. But she is headed in that direction. Her eyes are puffy from little sleep, her clothes look like they used to fit her but are getting loose, and she has slight scabs on her wrist from where she cuts herself. She is restless and agitated. She doesn't focus the same way her friends do on the conversation or the things around her. There are no signs of drug use. Each time I see her (maybe 5 times now) she seems a bit more withdrawn then the last.

But she is still showing up with her friends. So there is hope. She hasn't abandoned friends and they haven't abandoned her. She is still part of a group and that is always a good sign. Though I wonder if her little group of friends recognize what is happening to her. She is slipping away from them but do they notice?

I wonder about kids that age. When I think about some of the kids I went to school I realize some things about them now that I didn't realize then. Some were depressed and even suicidal. I didn't recognize those things then.

Depression is an ugly monster. Contrary to popular belief it can become a physical condition. You can't just get over it once it becomes physical. You will need help from people and may require medication. There is no shame in asking for help.

I don't know what is in store for Terry. Maybe things will turn around for her. But I think she is slowly reaching a point where she may not be able to turn things around without help. I can only hope her friends and family notice and care enough to help her in whatever way necessary.