Your average MLB eps ~ONESHOTS~

Alluray

*Mari lays on her bed with her legs kicking in the air.*

Mari: oh jeez *giggles* I just, don't know who to choose~ *tee hee*

Infront of Mari, layed a scrapbook of all the photos she took of Adrien and Lucas while they weren't looking.

Mari: oh darn~ Adrien is just, so smegzy, so... Dreamy~...

Mari: And Lucas, is so in tune with his heart. *moans* I love a man close to his emotions~

*pause*

Mari: Though his hair is kinda gay.

*another pause*

Mari: though he keeps denying it, so I can at least assume he's bi...

*she puts her pen to her mouth as she ponders more on which humanoid male she would fancy*

???: Oh Marynette~...

A humanoid was heard vaguely from the balcony. This, startled Mari.

Mari thinks: who is that?...

*Mari gets up from her bed as she waddles to the balcony.*

???: Hey bbg~

Mari: oh. It's you.

Infront of Mari layed Cat Noir, a very, odd, cat.

Chat noir: Did ya miss me bbg?~

Mari: oh HELL NAH-

*Mari slams the non-existant door in his face, he is heart brocken.*

Cat Noir: Awh damb, why does no one love me... Am I just too smegzy?...😔

*Cat Noir trots away, sadly as his billions of fans scream at him because they want to date him*

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-Meanwhile, in the Agreste Mansion-

*Daddy Gabriel struts through his mansion like there is no tommorow*

Natalie: Sometimes I wonder why I love you.

ZaddyGab: Oh nonsense Natalie! I'm just that, ✨Irresistable✨ 😏

Natalie:........

*Daddy Gabriel takes a huge wiff of the air*

ZaddyGab: Do you SMELL that Natalie???...

Natalie: Is it your-

ZaddyGab: No. I'm tired of people dissing my pancakes.

*pauses*

ZaddyGab: Anyway, there's a depressed child out there that I can pray on~ kdfjjfnfksjfbfnfjf

Natalie:.... Don't say that ever again...

ZaddyGab: *sighs* fair.

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Cat Noir wanders around depressed because his Grian to his Scar rejected him.

CatNoir thinks: 'The worse she could say is no' he said-

*Cat Noir Violently violences onto a bin*

A butterfly that was purple slithers it's way into Chat noir's belt.

HawkZaddy: Alluray, I am HawkDaddy, I give you to power  to make everyone attracted to you. In return you give me Ladybug's Miraclous~

*silent*

Cat noir: wait, what about mine?-

HawkZaddy: No. The show would be over otherwise. Yk, gotta be smart, but dumb enough so that Mari- Ladybug wins.

Cat noir: Fair enough.

*Cat noir turns into Alluray*

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Back at Mari's, she still can not decide on a male companion.

Mari: I think Lucas?... No... Adrien's hair has more Floof...

Tikki: female dog. JUST CHOOSE ONE GOD DAMN.

???:MARINETTE!

Mari: istg-

*She gets cut off by her blown up wall, that was blown up by Alluray*

Mari: oh mah gah man

Tikki: oh hell nah man

Mari: ayo, what da fuuu?...

Alluray: that's right, I'm WAY more seductive now UwU~

*Mari and Tikki stare at him grotesque*

Mari: bro, that was like- 🙄💅 a turn of-

Tikki: yeah fr fr 💀

Alluray:.... Well- uh-

*Everyone stops as they hear a Vespa pull up. It was Luca*

Luca: Hey y'all 💅✨

Mari: Hey qween 💅✨

Luca: oh my- *BIG BLUSH* well aren't you hot af?~

*Luca purrs towards Alluray*

Luca: you almost seem, more, hot with that unbuttoned shirt~

*he looks alluray up and down*

Tikki: Well Yk what they say, Scitties are the best kind-

Mari: Tikki, no- no one says that-

Luca: I bet you look hotter under the mask, Alluray~...

*Luca's eyes are seductive*
*Alluray is now blushing violently*

Alluray: well, I- Uh-

Luca: I know you want me~

Mari: Tikki, I told you he was gay-

Tikki: shut up. I wanna see this.

*Luca strokes his hand on top of Alluray's skin*

HawkZaddy: 😧 'Ight. Amma head out.
*peace signs as the butterfly flies out of Alluray's belt, getting back Cat noir*

*Cat noir stumbles onto the floor dazed as he blushes*

*Luca Pickes him up bridal style*

Luca: you know... That was super cute how you tried to be a dom, Though I think that you're better off as a sub~

*Luca looks down onto him as Cat noir is flustered*

Cat Noir: Y- yes, Luca~

*Luca smiles down lovingly at Cat noir*

Luca: do you wanna head back to my place?~

*Cat noir blushes, flustered as he nods yes shyly*

*Luca Walks away with Cat Noir into the sunset*

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*Mari and Tikki stare blankly, until Mari snaps out of her trance*

*Mari Then gets her pen again and scribbles out Luca from her scrapbook*

Mari: Well... That's one dude off the list...