Your Desire, My Pain

Chapter 8: Where It All Ends

"Now that is the real, final ending." Said San, pretending to close a non-existent storybook in his hands. The child pouted, face scrunched up adorably. "So they both left you for their happy ending? Mister nurse, that is so unfair for you!" She petulantly whined, kicking at the sheets. San only laughed as he reached in to stop her.

The laugh died down into a small, empathetic smile that didn't reach the nurse's eyes. "It's okay. I knew my place." He paused, unsure if he should say the rest. He did anyway. "I knew what I was getting into."

It was the truth. Wooyoung was the closest thing to a best friend he ever had. As a kid, he was always studying, studying, studying since his mother died all for the hope he could grow up and find a solution to bring her back. He regrets wasting his childhood in such a way now.

Naturally, for his hopeless self, he began to notice things even the younger male himself didn't. How bright his smiles were when they weren't fake. How he would always laugh at his jokes and squeeze his hands whenever he reached for them. How warm his hugs were when they laid in his bed during sleepless nights, San sacrificing his morning shift just so Wooyoung could have a good night's rest.

To Wooyoung, it was just San being a good friend in his time of need. Naturally, to San, whom has never known what it was like to be so close to someone his entire life; nor had he ever fallen in love—what he thought of Wooyoung?

It was something more, had he fallen for Wooyoung?

So interesting but so hopeless as he watched Wooyoung struggle to open his eyes for another day, longing for someone else that had long departed. So hopeless seeing one of the most important people to him sob his heart out after every sleep.

San sometimes cursed at how the world worked in such mysterious, cruel ways. How merciless it was for fate to let them all meet, just for them to end up as broken pawns to a lifelong game of chess.

"Mister nurse, do you miss the other boy?" The little girl spoke up. Oh, how a voice so innocent could hold such damage as her words pierced straight through his heart.

The smile on his face turned sorrowful. "Yes. I do."

He just does? What a lie. Its the only thing that he will ever miss as much as his mother. The only thing he will ever regret living for is staying behind while the most precious, fragile soul he had met left this word

"Can you ever see him again?"

San shook his head. "Someday yes" The nurse's expression was now crestfallen. "At least that's what I hope"

The little girl pouted again, tiny hands clenched into furious fists. Yet, she didn't say anything more. "Reality is so bad, I prefer my storybooks."

This earned a small giggle from the nurse. "If I could say the same, I would too." He reached in, giving the child a gentle pat on her head. She relished in a satisfied sigh.

He hadn't paid attention, but something about the girl began to grow more and more familiar to him with each passing second. He was so certain he'd never met a child that looked like her before in the past ten or so years of working at this hospital. So, how?

Standing up, he clapped his hands together in resolution. "Story's over, let's take you back to your room. It's almost dinner time too." At the mention of time, he turned to glance at the room clock on the adjacent wall.

5:53pm. They had seven minutes before he had to be down by the cafeteria for dinner.

Oddly enough, San felt as though something flitted past his eyes in the split second he had blinked. When he looked again, nothing was out of place.