IF I WOULD, COULD YOU?

BLACK IS ALL I SEE

Silence. Nobody's saying a word. Darkness. In a not so well lit room with statue-like frozen still people she's observing the empty stares on their faces. Everybody was feeling the pressure but no one dared to speak. Yet the room felt very loud. He was their friend. She felt a tear escaping her eye and running down her face like a freight train. She wiped it but couldn't stop shedding a billion more. Her blood red eyes caught a compassionate, but yet another empty look. It was Chris. She found it hard to imagine how he felt. Andy meant everything to him. She was afraid to touch him, or give him solace, fearing the unforeseeable consequences given his state of mind. Chris reached out and gently embraced her head. "Shh Salem" — he whispered and she could feel him swallowing a lump in his throat. No one knew if they'd be able to overcome this.

Suddenly the silence got interrupted. Everyone heard a heavy set of footsteps rushing toward the door, yet no one turned their heads. As the unidentified figure was twisting the doorknob with shaking hands, the loudest and deepest cry broke out. The door opened and everyone saw Layne Staley. He looked so frightened and lost, like a child who'd been abandoned and forgotten. Like all the love in the world has left his soul. Like he'd never felt it in the first place.

I felt this sudden urge from Chris, it seemed like he just wanted to run over and grab him, give him a big hug and tell him that everything was gonna be okay. And Layne needed it so badly. But Chris didn't move. No one did. The weight of their own individual grief kept them planted in place as Layne unraveled before them. But Salem couldn't stand to look at him. She got up and gave him the biggest hug as they were both bawling their eyes out and filling the room with inhuman screams. "Sa-" — Chris tried to say her name but couldn't, it seems like the sudden urge to cry silenced him. Layne's fingers became numb from grabbing Salem's shoulders. They were imbedded in them, as if they had always been a part of her and he couldn't let go. Suddenly, his face started to shake and turn green, it seemed like he was about to collapse.

"Hey...Layne...Layne, sweetheart, are you okay?" — Salem's voice seemed distant and he closed his eyes. For once, she stopped crying and turned around to look at Chris in shock, who suddenly got the feeling something was very wrong. He quickly got up from the couch, he rushed just to kneel in front of Layne a second later to check his pulse. Everyone turned their heads in concern, momentarily forgetting why they'd gathered at Kelly Curtis's place. "Let's get him outta here" — Chris said and signaled to some other people to help him get Layne out of the house, that was filled with this crazy pressure.

X

Fresh air. Dull grass. No sun. The world was grieving too. "Should...Should I call an ambulance?" — Stone asked with his trembling voice.
"No, he'll be alright. I think he's just passed out. I'll be back soon." — Chris said and tried to comfort Stone, who was looking at him with concern.
"Let me know if you need anything, okay Chris?" — he placed a bottle of water on the grass and headed back inside, still turning around a few times. Chris nodded in agreement.

Layne's head was resting on Salem's laps. Chris was
gently slapping his face and shaking his chest to wake him.
"What did you take?! What did you take you idiot...Not you too..." — Salem broke down in tears again and they landed on Layne's face. She looked like a black cloud on a rainy day.
"Sorry...um" — she placed her ice cold hands on his
cheeks in attempt to wipe her tears off his pale and motionless face.

Layne's eyes started moving and he squinted before
opening them completely.

"Oh thank god" — Chris and Salem both heaved a sigh of relief. Layne rubbed his eyes and they rushed to give him some water.
"How are you brother?" — Chris kneeled to embrace him.
"Thank you ... for being here" — Layne whispered and
pulled him in closer. Chris smiled with that same empty look on his face, even through no one could see it.

Salem wiped her tears off her face and got up. "I think it's time to go" — she said, "Chris, why don't you go inside and tell everyone Layne's okay. I'll take him home, to us." — Chris didn't even think there was anything wrong with that suggestion. Everyone was filled with grief, but it was time to stick together. He didn't want to lose another best friend.
"We'll stop by somewhere else, but I promise to be home soon. Maybe you shouldn't be driving, ask Matt or Jerry. I love you so much and I will love you forever. I'm here." — she said, trying not to break down and cry again. Chris didn't say anything, he didn't even realize how his lips touched hers. Salem could taste his salty tears that were running down his face earlier.
"I love you" — he whispered and went inside. He found solace in her.

X

Salem got into Layne's Grand National and they drove off. She realized he probably had no idea what was going on. Whatsoever.
"...when I awaken ... and I'm aching..." — suddenly came out of her mouth quietly. "...time for sleeping..."
"What's that?" — Layne asked.
"Sorry I sometimes sing when I'm driving, I forget I'm not alone" — she mumbled.
Layne looked at her for the first time since they got into the car. "No, no, I like it", "...when I'm saying time to go and... I've been hurting..." — he paused and looked away.
"When I'm laying I'm still trying, concentrated on
dying..." — he sang a bit louder.
"Wow... it makes me wanna cry" — Salem said with eyes full of tears. "We're here by the way" — she pulled over and Layne recognized a very familiar place, Discovery Park. He didn't even realize how they got there.

Salem got out of the car and decided to lie down on the grass, keeping her eyes on the Puget Sound. Layne sat down behind her, hugging his knees.

"I love it here, so peaceful ... how are you feeling?" — she said and looked over at Layne.
"Glad to be outta there. I still can't believe Andy's gone. Poor Xana." — after a few minutes of silence he continued, "isn't Chris going on tour soon?"
"He is" — Salem said and sighed, "he thinks it's gonna
distract him, being in England... so far away from
everything and everyone he knows. I'm not coming along, not after what happened to Andy. I just can't..." — she felt him hugging her from behind.
"I appreciate you Salem... you and Chris, we'll get over this" — he smiled with tears in his eyes and hugged Salem even tighter.
"We will Layne, we will" — she said while caressing his hair, "let's get going, Chris must be home now".