IF I WOULD, COULD YOU?

YOU CALL ME A DOG

Home. Salem locked the door behind her. The blinds had been closed since that morning, only a tiny sunbeam was fighting the darkness in the room. Everything felt cold, like the sadness had filled their home with winter.

"That's strange..." — she said to herself, "I thought he's home."

"CHRIIIS... CHRIS?" — Salem gradually raised her voice. She approached the basement door and heard some guitar sounds, followed by a familiar voice.

"You call me a dog... well that's fair enough... cause it ain't no use to pretend you're wrong..." — he coughed and continued, "you wore me out like an old winter coat... tryna be safe... from the cold..."

Salem quietly twisted the doorknob and watched Chris through the little opening.
"Tell me why... I don't like Mondays... I wanna shoo-" — the door cracked open and made a loud noise.

"Didn't know you liked The Boomtown Rats... sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you love" — Salem said softly, "we'll be upstairs."

"Come here love" — Chris opened his arms for a hug. He embraced her head and caressed her hair. "I love you so much" — he whispered, "I'll check on Layne".

He exited the room and went upstairs, his steps were firm and heavy.

"I love you more Chris" — Salem whispered, while sitting on the floor and leaning against Chris's desk. She stayed there for a while, going through his notes and reading his beautiful poems.

"Wow..." — she thought.

"I, I never wanted
To write these words down for you
With the pages of phrases
Of all the things we'll never do
Hey, so I blow out, out the candle and I put you to bed
Since you can't say to me now
How the dog broke your bone
There's just one thing left to be said..."

Her tears were running down her face, falling onto the pages like hail. She couldn't help it, the pain of losing one of her best friends was too much.

"What's wrong with me? I can't even call Xana, I saw her at the wake, but I just didn't have the courage to tell her how I felt... I think it's obvious, I'm a terrible friend." — her thoughts were swarming her mind. She didn't even notice how she fell asleep on the dark brown leather couch that was in Chris's studio. Andy used to come there often and she spent many nights listening to them singing, laughing and talking... making fun of each other, joking about how Salem couldn't even survive a minute without Chris. Andy found their relationship perfect. He often told Chris how lucky he got with Salem, and that he was sure Salem would become Chris's wife one day. He'd joke about their wedding and jumping out of the cake to startle all the guests. They'd go on roadtrips, hiking, mountain biking, every day was filled with unforgettable memories. "Too bad it's all over..."— she thought in her dream. Nothing was gonna be the same ever again.

X

"Honey" — Chris whispered in a sweet voice while caressing Salem's shoulder.

"Oh sorry, I must've fallen asleep" — she murmured.

"Let's go to bed, Layne is getting some rest in the guest bedroom" — he said softly while helping Salem up.

...

"I had a dream about Andy... he was very peaceful, I've never seen him so calm" — she whispered and hid her face in Chris's chest, trying not to cry.

"Shh... it's okay... it's all gonna be okay baby" — Chris was very comforting, yet so emotionless. The only time she saw him lose it was at the hospital, when they pulled the plug... Chris was so angry he smashed the glass door as he was walking out. He was angry he couldn't save Andy.

"You know, Layne and I were thinking about making a tribute show for Andy, I started writing a few songs" — he said suddenly.

"I know, I saw one... it's so beautiful my love" — she gave him a little kiss, "Andy would've loved that...". Chris cracked a slight smile.

After a few moments of silence she asked again: "Do you have to go on that tour? I think you need some rest..."

"I don't, but I feel like I need some time away from Seattle. I was driving home after the wake and I thought I saw Andy in front of The Moore." — he stopped for a second, "are you sure you don't wanna come along honey?"

"No, I think I will stay here, I just wanna curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep... I can't go anywhere. I will miss you so much though, you know how Andy used to say I couldn't survive a second without you..." — she sighed.

"Aww my sweet baby" — he caressed her cheek, "maybe Layne could stay with you while I'm away, it's just gonna be a week. He could definitely use some company right now."

"Yeah... that's a good idea" — she whispered and fell asleep which her face on Chris's shoulder. He looked at her for a moment and smiled. After all, he was indeed very lucky to have her.

X

Chris woke up very early the next morning. To his surprise, he saw Layne in the kitchen, staring at the rising sun through the window.

"Can't sleep?" — Chris wondered. Layne turned around, looking a bit startled. He didn't say anything for a while.

"Nope. Was thinking about Andy. He'll never get to see this again" — he pointed at the sun. Chris gave him a big hug. "You can stay with us for as long as you want. I was gonna ask you anyway, I'm playing two shows in Europe in two weeks and I was wondering if..." — Chris got interrupted by Layne: "of course. I'll stay with her... I know how much she means to you... to all of us."

"Thank you... coffee?" — Chris asked and Layne nodded.

"Salem still asleep?" — he wondered. "I worry about her, remember when she lost her father... and didn't talk to anyone for a month? ... She saved me last night."

"I care about her feelings, I love her and I don't wanna become a self centered prick... it's just I miss Andy so much. But he was her friend too, he was our best friend, Layne" — Chris gave him a concerned look, "I don't wanna lose myself... we have to take care of each other".

"And we will brother" — Layne tried to be comforting. He truly treated Chris like his own brother.