I had assumed that our friendship would endure forever and that we would always be content. However, I'm not sure what has changed—myself or them? Maybe it's you, confess it, maybe it's me.
I used to enjoy making noise while watching dramas of people fighting, being in the center of attention, and getting into unnecessary arguments with them. In other words, I was constantly "seeking attention" from them. I would tell them about my experiences, my embarrassing moments, and my bad days, and yes, I would always compliment them in front of my cousin.
However, I'm not sure what went wrong since I feel like I don't know them anymore and I'm so strangers to them. They live in a world and a circle that I'm not sure I still belong in. I'm not sure if I can handle her vibe in the last one, but one friend got a new one, while the other one went back to her old friend. Every time she gets close to me, I feel unworthy of her friendship or inferior. I may even feel self-pitying. There is always a complex between us because of the difference in our perspectives—I feel that I can see the six, while she can see the nine. I tried, and sure, it might work occasionally, but ultimately I think we're incompatible.
I considered the first person I named to be my most compatible, unbreakable, indestructible, and coolest person I've ever met, but as my expectations began to exceed hers, she broke them—or perhaps I broke her. She changed, and I changed too. Perhaps I'm accustomed to her company, or perhaps I'm so poisonous that I lost it when she made a new buddy. I believe that we grow up before making lifelong promises to stick together no matter what. However, as of right now, we merely nod when we see one another.
Before saying our goodbyes to one another back then, we would give each other a quick peck on the cheek and an embrace. Yes, it did happen. Perhaps it was just a test for us, or perhaps it was a clue that she was also like another friend I made—a "seasonal friend." Perhaps we became friends because we had no other option, or perhaps it was a hint that we were dealing with the same issue at home. Perhaps I didn't know her at first, or maybe I don't know her at all. I know she doesn't know me and may not be listening to the stories and problems I tell her, but I know that I'm the one who's constantly looking for a reliable partner.
